carpe diem

Seize the day.

A lot of times recently, I'll find myself someplace where I don't really want to be. Maybe it's school or the dentist's or a long car ride, or maybe it's a metaphorical place: a stumbling block, an obstacle in my way. I'll want to be doing something else, I want to be somewhere else.

But a lot of times, I can't help where I am. I have to go to school, to the dentist, on a long car ride. I may not be able to control where I am, but I can control how I react to it. I can choose to complain, or I can choose to be happy.

And I choose to be happy.

Everyone has their own problems, their own burdens they must carry. No one's life is perfect. Even the people who seem to be so happy have their own difficulties. The difference is that they chose to make the most of it.

They don't want to spend their lives worrying or being upset. They want to live each moment to the fullest and make the best of their situation.

And that's what I want to do, too. I don't want to waste my days being upset. I want to cherish each one of them, look for the good, and celebrate it.

I want to seize the day.

Carpe diem!

~Starr

the last bits of winter

I am back from the land of Kansas where I...took a lot of pictures. Maybe a little too many. But that's besides the point. I am home and I am blogging again.

To me, the seasons are clearly defined. Summer is in June, July and August. Autumn is in September, October and November. Winter is in December, January and February. And spring is in March, April and May. Tomorrow is the last day of February so it only seems right that winter should be finishing up. It's going out with a bang--it snowed on Thursday, blanketing Kansas City in white. All the residents were grumbling about it, having already received an abundance of snow this year, but me? I was happy.

^Those are my boots covered in snow. And yes, I was wearing my pajamas. ^_^

So, my trip was fine. It was fast; full of ice and baskets of food and tears and driving and getting dressed up and laughing with my cousins. Whirlwinds, but now I am home. All that snow and ice was lovely, but here it is a mild 84 degrees (29 degrees Celcius!). Forget spring...I think summer is just around the corner. :) And I'm perfectly fine with that.

~Starr

a {heart}y thank you

{Haha, I am so punny}

Thank you all for all the lovely comments and new followers. :) They really mean a lot to me, especially in a tough time like this. I'm about to leave for the airport, to go to Kansas City, but I just wanted to post before I did and let you know I'm thankful.

All these little things, these little nuggets of happiness, they add up. Nice comments, comforting music, tasty food, a good laugh with friends. They mean a lot. It's nice to have something to smile about, something to distract me.

I may or may not post again before returning on Sunday. I'm still debating whether to bring my camera but even if I do there won't be any pictures until I get home. So if I don't see you until then, have fun and stay safe. :D And thank you.

~Starr

loss.

Loss of feeling. Loss of what to do. Loss of a loved one.

It feels so wrong to come out and say it candidly, because it still feels so unreal. Like a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. Like maybe if I don't say it, it won't be true. But it is true and I have to say it. My grandma had a heart attack yesterday and passed away.

We were in a frozen yogurt shop when we got the call. I was enjoying the cold, sweet bites and the day off from school. My mom's phone rang and she picked it up. It was my uncle. My mother's reaction gave it away. "Oh my god," she'd said. "Oh my god." I knew something was wrong and I guessed what had happened.

She hung up and told us.

I stared at the yogurt in my bowl. It suddenly looked so disgusting and I didn't feel like eating at all. I felt my breath quiver, my eyes widen as the tears began to fall. I ran to the bathroom and splashed water in my face, like they do in the movies. All my memories were swirling around in my head and it felt like a dream.

I didn't want to cry, not in front of everyone. I felt terribly weak crying and running away. But that's what I did. I didn't know how to deal with situations like that because I'd never done before, and I honestly never thought I'd have to.

When I got home I laid in bed with my earphones in my ears, rocking myself and listening to my sad music playlist. My throat hurt. I could barely breathe. Tears were still coming down and my face was red. I cried until I forgot why I was crying.

And then I wrote this, because if I couldn't breathe, writing was the next best thing. And I knew I would have to face it sometime. So I did. I'm sorry if this is too lengthy or boring or depressing. I'm upset but I'm going to try and find something to smile about, because that's my word for this year, my motto, my mantra. Life will go on, and her spirit and memory will live on. And everything will be okay.

~Starr

P.S. My blog apparently hates scheduled posts. I wrote this yesterday (Monday) and scheduled it for today around noon because I didn't want two posts in one day, but it didn't post. That's the second time something like that's happened. D:

P.P.S. I leave for the funeral tomorrow and will be gone until Sunday. I will try to post again before then but if not...you know where I am.

jumbled up days

Psst...guess what? It's me. I'm alive. I just, er, couldn't get on the computer yesterday. So I read two novels cover to cover, worked {minimally} on homework and went on a hike. {...}

Anyway, here are some pictures. Some of them I can't remember if they were taken yesterday or Saturday or what. Thus the "jumbled up days". {The ones from the hike are yesterday's, though. That I know.} So, this is my weekend:

I ate my soup for lunch. That I sort of made.

 My sister, during one of those rare moments when she wasn't shooing me and my camera away.

I saw a flower! Even if it's only a dandelion which is really a weed. But spring must be coming soon!

I saw more plants! But they aren't green so it doesn't count. :P

 This is during the hike. I am such a city girl, with my pink nail polish and my converse.

 What we saw. I wish I could have gotten a better picture.

 I kind of love this. I love the bokeh and how it's out of focus and also how the trees seem to bend over and meet at the top, like some sort of a tent.

P.S. Guess whose neighbor still has their Christmas lights up?

 ...Mine.

How was your weekend? Today is President's Day so I have today off, too, but tomorrow I have to go back to school. D:

~Starr

my average day

Today I didn't have school. It was nice. I didn't do much; it was a pretty average day. Not the best day ever, but not too shabby, either. :)

I had raspberries for a snack...but not before taking fifty bajillion pictures first. ;)

I fiddled around with manual focus because being the super-smart person I am I just found it...[no comment].

I went outside and felt the beautiful weather. Okay, it doesn't look beautiful outside--everything's still dead--but it feels nice. Like sixty or seventy degrees: you can wear jeans without getting sweaty and a T-shirt without needing a jacket. That's what I call nice.



I got a new watch (long overdue).

 I helped my mom make tomato soup for dinner. Om nom nom. It's cooking right now.


So, that was pretty much my day. I have a guitar lesson in half an hour that I should probably practice for...How was your day?

~Starr

wanderlust

I love that word. I love how it applies so perfectly to my life and how fun it is to say. Maybe not as fun as shenanigans. But still lovely and oh-so-apt.

Clouds over who knows where, 2010

Because lately I've been feeling an itch underneath my skin, a pulsing in my veins. A restless mentality settling throughout my body. I want, no, I need, to travel.

Palm Springs, 2009

Somewhere. Anywhere.

Preferably somewhere in the countryside with green rolling hills and ponds with bridges over them and gardens and lots of beautiful trees to provide shade.

Disneyland, 2009

Or maybe somewhere on the beach where the sand is hot under my feet and the sea is rolling out endless waves and never quite seems to meet the sky.

Mexico, 2009

Or maybe a place where it's warm and crowded with tourists both muggles and magic, like, say, I don't know, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Florida?

Chinatown, SF, 2010

I'm reading a really awesome book called The Dragonfly Pool which is set in England and all the descriptions of the countryside really make me want to go there. Actually, I want to go there anyway, it's just fueling my obsession. Libby's adorably British posts don't help either, you know {this gave me more inspiration, too}. And we all know what else is United Kingdom (cuz it's technically in Scotland)...it starts with a "Hog" and ends with a "Warts"...

California, 2009

The sad thing is, I can't go anywhere. At least, not until June, when I'm going to Hawaii (which I am insanely excited about). I am mostly excited for the picture taking opportunities but making a fool of myself whilst attempting to surf is a close second. :) But until then, I'm stuck here, in Texas. We aren't going to California for spring break in March like we usually do, because Hawaii is expensive. But my cousins are coming down here which should be fun.

And, of course, for now, I have my books which transport me not only to different countries but different worlds as well.

~Starr

P.S. Isn't this song so hauntingly lovely? {Listen to it!} It makes me sad but it's so beautiful. Dar Williams has such a great voice. :) I need to get more music...

black + white shoot

Picture overload alert! Here is a photo shoot I did with my friend (the same one! She is like my only willing model, thus...) on Sunday. For the most part they were shot in black and white but I had to change two of them. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Enjoy!

 

 

 

I think that's it. I'm working on my sister to try and get her to model for me but she's stubborn and the youngest child (therefore she gets her way). Hope you're having a great day!

~Starr

P.S. I have 100 comments! :) Thank you all for your continued support! (<--That sounded like something from an advertisement...)

happy valentine's day

A day of sweets, flowers, and more sweets. I've eaten my share of chocolate today already...my tummy doesn't feel all that well. But I'm still excited for dinner--a heart shaped pizza--and dessert--heart shaped brownies and chocolate covered strawberries. Yes, we like this holiday...why?

Hope it was a good one for you, and you don't feel too sick. XD Sorry for all these short posts, but I have a long one planned soon. It's a photo shoot I did with my friend yesterday. I kind of like it. So, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, (or, as some people at my school prefer to refer to it, "Happy Single Awareness Day". XD

~Starr

shenanigans

That is such a fun word to say. Shenanigans. Say it. I think that word sort of describes my weekends: random mischievous things, just like this photo does:

Taking pictures in the sun. All you really need is a camera and some sunglasses (those both belong to my friend, btw. Her camera has a touch screen, how cool is that?).

I love the sunflare on my hair (rhymes FTW). The sun is always out in the weekends and the weather is always nice and much warmer than during the week.

It's perfect for random poses and shadow pictures (I'm on the left, if you couldn't tell XD).

Perfect for *cough cough* exploring the construction site right in front of my house. Climbing into bulldozers and backhoes and whatever they're called. (Very dusty, by the way.)

Perfect for roaming about in flipflops and skirts left over from church that billow in the wind.

Perfect for taking pictures in the sun and relaxing and also maybe getting into some...shenanigans. What are your weekends like?

~Starr

why i love fridays

Five things I love about this Friday.

5. my guitar lesson. It was actually fun today. I don't know why, but when I was playing I suddenly felt happy. I felt like I got it. It was a good feeling, you know.

4. festive sugar cookies. We used to have these at our class parties all the time in elementary school but I haven't had one in forever. My mom brought me home one today and it strangely made me so happy. I mean, fake sugar, tons of fat, heart shaped sprinkles, what's not to love?

3. my english class. Today was an 'independent work day' for our project and we all got laptops to use. We all got on g-mail and had a group chat with like, 20 people. It was fun...until my computer decided to be stupid. But besides that... you gotta love those laptops. :)

2. unofficial movie night. I love watching movies with my family (well...most of the time XD). Tonight? The Music Man. We had that movie on VHS and I used to watch it all the time when I was younger. But I haven't seen it in so long so we rented it to watch tonight. I love musicals so much.

[Not my picture!]

1. Um, it's the weekend! Of course. Does this really need any further explanation? No? Okay, good. :)

What do you love about Fridays?

~Starr