Wednesday, April 27, 2011

being green

In regards to being green, I don't mean the eco-friendly type. Or the Kermit the Frog kind, either. I mean jealousy, envy, etc. etc. etc. That little green monster.

It's so easy for me to become jealous. Reading blogs, scanning photo-streams, I see what other people have and I covet it. Questions swirl around in my clouded mind, like: Why don't my photos turn out that well? How did they get so many followers? And, of course, why isn't my life as 'good' as theirs? It seems like they spend their days taking photos, drinking tea, watching the rain. Reading books, baking cakes, laughing with friends. Traveling around the world and buying things on a whim. They can post at any time of the day, are not inhibited by school or chores or parents.

Why can't my life be like that? Why am I not that happy? Yes, I am not proud of it, but I will admit it, because it is a very human emotion: I get jealous. I'm always weary of the people who say things like, "Oh, I don't get jealous." How very lucky for you, then. Do you not get sad either? 

Once again, this cat is not mine. His name is Woodrow and he is my neighbors'. So cute!
Even though I would like my life to be one big weekend, the truth is that it is not. I have to make do with what I have. I may not be the girl who's constantly jetting off to Paris, or even the one who's got a lot of friends to write to. Maybe someday, but for now, no. I'm just little old me and that's okay. I don't need for my life to mimic someone else's, just because it sounds like fun. I shouldn't need a vast array of camera lenses or a thousand followers to be happy. I can be okay with the happy things I do have, like library books and ice cream bowls and fluffy shedding cats and the seventy-four awesome followers I do have.

I don't know what I'm really trying to say with this post. Maybe it's that I shouldn't compare my life to other people's. Or that that instead of wallowing in what I don't have, I should be appreciating what I do.

I mean, life still goes on, regardless of your attitude.
But wouldn't you rather enjoy it?


P.S. I finally made a new header. You like? Is it big enough? It took forever to upload because apparently I've used up all of my photo space on Blogger. I knew this day would come but I didn't think it would be so soon! I've deleted some old pictures from old blogs and I'm probably going to start uploading through Flickr now. I was prepared but it's still so frustrating. Have any of you had this problem?

P.P.S. Also, you can now contact me via email. ;)


  1. I love that this blog entree breathes honest...I love it!!! <3

    keep it up sweet blogger...I believe you have a lot to offer the world with such an honest outlook!

  2. Oh Kendall, I SO know what you mean! I feel like this all the time - it's not just you. I try to do what you did here on my blog too. Honest and real. What's the point of blogging if you make your life look amazing instead of the way it really is?? Thanks for being such an honest and beautiful blogger! <3

  3. *75 followers :)
    I always get this feeling when I see 100+ follower blogs, where people always comment. I get so jealous at how popular their blogs are, when I rarely get one comment a week. But, that's also fine with me. Because I like what I'm doing, and no one will tell me otherwise :)

    'na,nanana,nanana,nanana, I don't wanna be like everybody else'
    -care bears on fire

    and by the way, your new header is fabulous! I love the little bike :)

  4. AH! How did you just say something I have been trying to explain to myself for forever?!?! :D I love it! I know what you mean about the "tons and tons" of followers... I feel the same way with my... 36... followers. :) I love this post! The pictures are awesome and i love the way you worded everything ^_^
    Hugs!!! :D

  5. Oh yeah, and I love the header. :D

  6. Thank-you so much for writing this and being so honest. Every one of us has probably felt this way at some point. I know I have.

    But, I've realized that I don't have to worry about things like; having a lot of blog followers, or if my photos aren't as good as other blogger's photos. It really doesn't matter. Doing what you really love is what matters. You're right, we shouldn't have to embellish our lives for the sake of attracting more readers.

    We love your blog just the way it is, Kendall! You are such an amazing person. :)

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  8. Woops... messed up on my comment! :)

    It was so refreshing to read this post! So often I go onto blogger and am bombarded by posts that seem to make every other bloggers life seem perfect. Thank you for this reminder that we all DO have troubles in our lives... everybody does. :)

  9. The blog post of my life. Right here. <3
    -Sam (SuperSamJam)

  10. I feel the same way. Thanks for explaining it a in a perfect way!!
    Your header is wonderful! I still can't master the art of making headers but yours always end up beautiful!!

  11. Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes! This is exactly how I feel a lot- and this post, I swear, could have been made just for me;) thank you so much for posting! I really needed that. :)

    And the header? Gorgeous! The little bike is so cute<3

  12. Yes, yes, yes. All so true. Sometimes I feel like I've got a green aura, pure jealousy. Every now and again, I'll have just slammed doors, felt incredibly angry at my parents or had a horrible day, and I modify a comment saying 'you have the best days'. But like you said, it's just the side I show. I think this especially comes across online. Who wants to know about how horrible French dictation is? No one. Who wants to know about how pretty something is, or how lovely a part of a day was? Many people. Also, there's no bad side on many blogs. You just don't blog if you're having an awful day. So I think when you only see the polished perfect side of someone it's ever so much easier to feel envious.
    Everything you share here either brings a smile to my face or makes me feel like I am not alone, because you have an amazing way with words, Kendall. And posts like this that speak the truth are the best kind of post.

  13. Well, I'm pretty sure no one's jealous of my blog!
    I know how you feel Kendall, Every time i see someone getting comments on their blog, having more followers then me, having more posts then me, I get really jealous. I'll wish I was like them, Or try and change myself, But I really shouldn't. And sometimes, i just think that no one likes me and i should just dissapear, But then I remember the friends i have in real life.
    Maybe Blogging just isn't my thing, Or maybe I'm just trying too hard. But what I do know is, If I ever see someone saying; "No one reads this blog, I never get any comments!" Then I try to comment. I guess I'm rambling again Huh? Sorry!
    But anyways, I love love love your blog! Please don't ever stop!
    Love, Jenna

  14. I know exactly what you mean! I guess I do get jealous, but it's more of an intimidated jealous... (Does that make sense?) I see a lot of what you posted, and I'm glad you posted this. Not all of us have luxurious lives, (I know I don't), though it can come off that way. It's like some people always seem to be living in a dream, and we want it too, but then we wake up and realize we're in reality. But I think the main thing to do is just keep living your life the way it is, and be happy :) You are awesome Kendall, don't forget it! :D
    p.s. I love the header! :)

  15. I feel exactly the same way, jealousy is natural and a human emotion, but I hate being like that. And unfortunately it happens to me a lot, with all the wonderful posts and followers, comments, photos, fancy lenses, and all those superficial things. People who are idolized over, and a lot of time, I wonder 'why can't that be me?'. But you have to work with the cards dealt and I try to stay slightly level headed. :P


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