now it's summer

Yesterday after school let out some friends and I walked around what is affectionately known as the Drag. It's nice because most of the college students have gone home so it wasn't too crowded or anything.

The first order of business was lunch. Most of my friends are vegetarians, interestingly enough, so I don't have to feel weird about getting tofu or whatever. Mhm, tofu.

Dessert was Vietnamese shaved ice. It had three flavors of ice cream and lots of fruit on top of sweet ice. You might not be able to tell from that picture, but it serves about eight people. With some leftover. Man, I love Texas and its Texan sized servings.

I love this city.

We went in Buffalo Exchange and Urban Outfitters later and they have a bunch of awesome stuff but I didn't really feel like buying anything because I only like to spend money on perishable items like food, apparently. After more meandering in one of my favorite toy shops, we stopped next door where I had a vegan choco-lavender milkshake. Claudia said it was the most wonderful thing she had ever tasted. Mayrose said it was "pretty good". 

And now it is summer. I actually got 12 hours of sleep last night which was AMAZING. Happy, happy days.

summer list

It's summer! After one period of Nutella, arm-wrestling, and Finding Nemo, and another one of my Pre-Cal final, I'm finally free. I've been brainstorming things I want to do this summer for several weeks now. I probably won't get to do everything but, you know, I like making lists.

• go ziplining
• see the bats on the bridge

• take lots of pictures (digital & film)
• swim, duh
• go to a roller derby bout
• go bowling
• write some letters 
• turn 16
• have a birthday party?
• redecorate my bedroom a bit
• get my driver's permit finally
• go the movies
• do art
• (but avoid crafts at all costs (crafts are evil))
• karaoke
• go kayaking 
• bake lots of delicious sweets
• cook some healthy vegetarian meals
• be vegan for a week?
• watch movies on my to-watch list
• read lots of books (old ones + new ones)
• get better at Photoshop
• watch the Olympics
• go on the roof
• sleep outside
• watch fireworks
• go out to breakfast/brunch
• get snow cones
• catch up w/ TV shows
• babysit
• write a lot of words
• see a play at Zilker
• go to Dairy Queen and Sonic and other places with drive-thrus and milkshakes because that is pretty much the epitome of summer
• walk around downtown (totally just wrote "downton")
• have a picnic
• go camping
• stay up obscenely late because I can
• just get out of the house and see people and do things because if I stay cooped up in here with my family I will go certifiably insane
• oh yeah and BLOG lots!

growing up (i don't know)

The end of the school year always finds me rather sentimental and nostalgic, even more so than usual. I cried on my last day of kindergarten. I don't even know what I'm going to do on my last day of high school. Lately I've been thinking about ~growing up~ and how it seems to come in little surprising spurts. When I was younger, I was so afraid of growing up and getting old and I don't know, all that stuff. But now it's happening all around me and it's unavoidable and, yeah, it's bittersweet.

It's like when you see your friend driving a car and it's just so strange and surreal but it hits you harder than all those Facebook statuses about being a licensed driver and all those obligatory "Don't run anyone over! LOL" comments.

And when you're talking about things and you're like, wow, I feel like an actual teenager, which is weird because when you were a kid teenagers were always this unattainable standard and now you're realizing that of course it's not like that -- but at the same time, it kind of is.

Like when you're sitting at a coffee shop with your friend and you're actually drinking coffee and studying for finals and feeling really sophisticated but at the same time really vulnerable as you lay crumpled dollar bills on the counter and give the cashier a nervous smile.

Like when your parents decide to get a new car and get rid of the van you've had for ten years, which is maybe not something you should maybe feel sad about but the more you think about how you're never going to see that familiar green minivan ever again, the more it seems like a metaphor for your childhood and the closer you are to wanting to cry. Because the new car is nice and has a sunroof but it smells like a rental car and the leather isn't comfortably worn in and the seatback pockets aren't filled with a menagerie of random items like they used to be.

And suddenly you're at a graduation party (or at least, the remnants of one) and you're thinking how in two years, that will be you graduating, which is crazy because two years ago was the end of eighth grade and that seems like just yesterday.

It's all happening so fast. I feel like my life is an exponential equation and it's been picking up speed since I was born and I'm just accelerating towards death. Maybe that's a morbid way of putting it but it's the truth. These thoughts are terrifying but they only seem overwhelming if you think about them. So I try not to.