starry nights + sunny days

it's leap day

2012-02-29T21:03:00.000-06:00

In case you had, you know, forgotten. Since it's the last day of the month, I thought I'd just post pictures and stuff from February that I haven't already. And also because I just wanted to be able to post on Leap Day.

This is what winter looks like a lot of the time here. (Mostly the first one.)

The spectacular sunset came for another visit.

Things are starting to come back to life. The beginning of spring is beautiful. I forget it, every year, but it is.

//After yesterday, I don't think I ever want to eat anything sweet again. It was my friend's birthday so we all brought desserts and I had two cupcakes, some German chocolate cake, ~~some~~ lots of apple pie, at least two cookies, and a lemon square. That was my lunch. I felt so sick afterwards.

My eating habits are, admittedly, strange. It's gotten worse with this no meat thing. My dinners have become smaller and I've kind of been substituting desserts for meat. Not to mention the fact that I've had two bowls of cereal today already. This is not really what was supposed to happen. Ohhh....ohhh well. I'll work on it.

Back to my essay and worrying about the future

paradise

2012-02-27T22:24:00.000-06:00

when she was just a girl
she expected the world
but it flew away from her reach
so she ran away in her sleep
she dreamed of para-para-paradise
every time she closed her eyes

That song is so apt to my life right now, you know? On lonely nights near the end of winter, there's nothing I long for more than summer. And not just a different time, but a different place, too. I found these pictures of Hawai'i from last year and had to bring them out of the archives. It's kind of hard for me to believe I was really there. It's like another world. Paradise. Whereas the one I'm living in now is more resembling Dante's Inferno...but we're done with that book, so I'm going to try to lay those allusions to rest. Hawai'i is the closest place to paradise I've ever been, though what I want now is not just some place beautiful. I want some place where I can get away from all the expectations people have of me, all the work and all the people who bicker and complain and bother me. That's the paradise I dream of. And that's the one that always slips away before I wake up.

And now back to your regularly scheduled posting.

january/early february in film

2012-02-25T19:45:00.001-06:00

So I got my first roll of film back! I decided this time just to get the prints and not the CD with them scanned because I can scan them at home. Only I didn't realize that regular scanners are pretty dumb so everything is more grainy and the colors are pretty jank. (Jank is like the best word ever, by the way.) Ah, well. Here are some of my favorites.

Look, it's the moon!

Grass. Unexciting.

Pasta from a vegetarian restaurant.

Berries. That are probably poisonous.

Light & windows.

My room.

Mayrose! From this shoot a while ago.

Claudia!

That's all for now. I'm still figuring out what I'd like to do with film, like, as opposed to digital. I think I'd like to shoot more people and places with film, more intentional stuff, and keep digital for the stuff I do every day, like still lifes, nature, self-portraits, and silly things. I'm not sure, though. Something to mull over.

the one with lots of tangents

2012-02-22T22:37:00.000-06:00

Do you want to know my biggest regret? Of course you do; that's what they always ask on those tags and questionnaires that float around the internet. Well, my biggest regret is not getting Hayley G. Hoover's picture or autograph when I kinda/sorta met her last summer. Truth.

Anyway, not only is she extremely funny but she writes stuff that makes me want to be a better person, basically. I love it when I read something that makes me want to do something, even though most of the time I don't, which is my own fault for being lazy, and then I feel guilty, a process which she also discusses. I am working on it.

One thing I am currently trying out is vegetarianism. Yes, I am giving up meat for Lent. This is super hypocritical of me because most of my friends are vegetarians and I've always been that annoying one who is like "Meat is so delicious om nom nom" and points out that herbivores are always the first to die in event of some apocalypse. (True fact. I learned it Planet Earth.) Well, I don't want to be the first to die but I do want to challenge myself, so yeah. That is happening. I guess I should, like, research diets so I don't die from lack of protein or something, but who am I kidding, I don't have time for that. (And here I am blogging...) I only really eat meat for dinner, anyway, and there are lots of things I can talk my mom into making, like soups and pasta and salads, that are vegetarian. Not fish or seafood, though. First of all, the smell of fish literally makes me sick and so I don't eat it, and second of all, um, fish are animals. The most important thing is that I can still eat desserts. Although, I have to inform you something I learned on Tumblr yesterday, which is that Nutella is not vegetarian. Do what you like with that information. It makes no difference to me, as my mom doesn't buy it any more!! (Definitely no ill feelings there. Definitely not.)

I'll be sure to keep you updated on my adventures in veggie land. I don't know what will happen after Easter, but I guess we'll just have to see then!

Man, my life is so exciting.

Speaking of exciting: last Doctor Who episode watched: Season 1, Episode 10
(just copying Kristina because I like being able to look back and remember when things happened) (this may be a thing, if you don't mind. not like it matters if you do.)

P.S. Oh, and in case you were at all curious, my next biggest regrets all have to do with food. Like the time I got animal crackers from the vending machine even though there were perfectly good Cheetos right there. The animal crackers turned out to be stale and I could have cried. Would it have been so bad to inhale a few extra calories for the sake of taste, I ask you? No, I do not think so.

P.P.S. Any of you folk ever been to L.A.? What are some fun things to do there? (not Disneyland)

a post about television

2012-02-18T16:52:00.014-06:00

This will, I think, go down in history as the Year I Started Liking TV.

You see, for a long time I was the sort of precocious kid who hated TV and thought it was stupid and made you dumb and I was very proud of the fact that I wasn't obsessed with it. I watched Arthur in first grade and in middle school, I sometimes watched Ugly Betty before it ended. I watched Glee but mine was never the sort of passionate affair with TV I witnessed with other people my age. And I was perfectly okay with that. (I thought it made me special.)

But then, in January, everything changed. I discovered Downton Abbey.

I blame the internet, really, and peer pressure, and the unstoppable force of them combined. I kept hearing about this show, and I was bored, so I thought, what the heck? I gave it a try. And what do you know, an obsession was born. I am super-di-duper-ly psyched to watch the Christmas special tomorrow. I even had a dream about it the other night, although I know things will be better in the show because my dreams don't know what the heck is going on. Although I will probably be upset at the lack of Downton in my life once this season is over, I will be comforted in the knowledge that a) there will be a 3rd season! and b) I have a new show to watch now.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have caved and begun to watch Doctor Who.

It's weird what made me start, though. I hadn't even heard of it at all until I got to high school, where one of my teachers had posters of it everywhere and there was a club that watched it at lunch and everyone was talking about it, it seemed. But it didn't appeal to me at all. Then, of course, there's Tumblr. A lot of people I follow on Tumblr are obsessed with Doctor Who. I always just scrolled past these posts, though I became knowledgeable about certain things. I knew about the Tardis and Weeping Angels (which are apparently very scary) and I knew some names that kept reappearing. I knew, from Halloween costumes, that fezzes and bow ties were apparently a key part of this fandom. But even with all that tucked away, the show still didn't much interest me. I don't know what happened, exactly, to change that. But somehow, a few weeks ago, I found myself obsessing over some of the actors. I watched interviews, looked at pictures, and read articles. It was ridiculous. After a while, I had the completely brilliant thought that maybe I should actually watch this show. Yes, I do things backwards. Deal with it.

So I went to my old buddy Netflix and before I knew it, one episode had turned into five. I'm starting with Season 1 (from 2005) and will attempt to make my way up to the present day. It might take a while, but the episodes aren't terribly long and you know me, I don't have much else to do. ;) And I've heard it gets even better, so I have many an incentive to keep going.

So, this is me, now. A year ago, I never thought I'd say I love television, but it's true. Obviously, there's a lot of rubbish stuff out there, like reality TV (I have a whole other bone to pick with that), but the trick is to find something that can make you laugh and cry and think and is maybe just a bit cheesy. And British. Clearly it hasn't been a successful show if you don't come out of it talking like ~~the Queen of England~~ Maggie Smith.

And that is an entire post about television. kthanksbye.

black, white and gray

2012-02-17T17:27:00.000-06:00

I just wrote a whole post and then deleted it because it wasn't actually what I was feeling. It was all about being lazy and feeling guilty for not doing anything fun or productive while it seems like everyone else is. I do feel like that a lot, but right now I actually don't care. All I want to do is watch TV and eat popcorn and enjoy my four day weekend in a way that makes me happy. That's all that matters.

Anyway, these pictures were taken a few days ago when I should have been doing homework. I guess I was feeling contemplative or something, with the black and white and graininess and placid expression. I don't know.

Going to go watch Doctor Who now, because it's a cold, gray day, and yes, that is a thing that has happened. Maybe tomorrow I'll leave the house.

signs of a successful valentine's day

2012-02-14T21:56:00.000-06:00

The number one way to tell if you had a successful Valentine's Day is if there are candy wrappers littered everywhere and your stomach feels like it's going to explode. Yes? Yes.

Also, like love or something but that's not really as important when you think of food.

I myself got a jelly doughnut, two pink cupcakes, many many assorted chocolates and candies, and some nice cards from my all too generous friends. Such as this one:

Happy Valentine's Day, kids. Stay classy.

sing a happy song

2012-02-13T22:34:00.000-06:00

relevant picture found in my folders; from DC

Some days I'm just in a good mood. Here are some happy things:

1. Finding out an assignment actually isn't due for two more days.

2. Listening to songs that used to be your favorite way back when and still knowing all the words. (This playlist causes a) lots of nostalgia and b) lots of singing/dancing.)

4. Downton Abbey! ("We were a show that flopped." Cue sobbing. That show better get an encore.) I can't wait for next week. It's like waiting for Christmas...Literally...Get it, cause it's the Christmas Special...Everything gets so much better when I explain what I did there, however obvious it may be.

5. Having (IRL) friends to squeal about aforementioned TV show with.

6. Chocolate.

7. Four day weekend coming up!

8. Looking through pictures from last summer and looking forward to this summer. I'm possibly going somewhere exciting and there's a lot that's still up in the air.

9. Ummm...Tumblr.

10. Attractive people. (LOL NOPE I am definitely not going to specify whom I'm talking about.)

11. Eleven. Is my favorite number.

Go have a dance party.

we were born to die

2012-02-10T23:20:00.001-06:00

I don't know what season it is any more.

Wow, I am really pale, aren't I? I look like freaking Edward Cullen. I think the picture's definitely a little overexposed, because there is no way I am that translucent. It is February, but come on. This is not okay.

I am floating. No, really.

Things of note: I'm going to get my first roll of film developed this weekend! Also, go shopping because I neeeeeeeed some clothes and bum around watching movies because I am allowed to do that. This week was stressful. But it's over!

"Is it by mistake or design / I feel so alone on a Friday night."

things you will later regret

2012-02-07T22:40:00.000-06:00

Consider yourselves lucky. If I ran to this blog every time I got upset, there would be nothing but a stream of capital letters and expletives.

Tell me, what is it about Tuesdays? What is it about February? What is it about today, the intersection of the two, that causes such misery? I was born on a Friday in July, you know. I was not made for this sort of thing. What is it about me, anyway? Why can I get in the 98% percentile in the PSATs but not open my mouth in an in class discussion? Why do I put off homework for hours just to complain about how bored I am? Whywhywhywhy.

All I want is to go to sleep (and never wake up). But that's not true. I want so much more than that. I want the beach, even with the sand that gets everywhere and the salt water that stings your eyes. Even that. I want anonymous cities, vortexes of libraries, Central Park in May, the desert sky. I want a tree house to live in. I want dumb things and intellectual things and gourmet dessert and gummy worms passed under a sleeping bag. I want everything unattainable. I don't know what I want.

e: finished the school

looks good

me: awesome possum

i finished my will

i give everything to my cats

My tea went cold. I poured the rest of it into the sink, feeling only slightly guilty. It wasn't all tea. Some of it was tears.

In a few days I will look back at this and not feel the same way. It will seem stupid, dramatic. And then another night, a long time from now, I will read it and want to cry because that's exactly how I feel.

This song still makes me cry.

So I'm just going to keep listening to Bon Iver until I feel okay. It will come.

avalanche of sunlight

2012-02-04T21:16:00.000-06:00

I haven't been taking as many pictures lately, but sometimes when the light is nice I'll go out on my porch with my camera and this is the result.

Today was a weird day. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary happened; it's only me that's weird. I spent forever getting dressed and didn't even leave the house at all. I read A Moveable Feast, which I am enjoying, and baked brownies and listened to Ceremonials, which I am beginning to memorize. It's hard to explain how I feel on these weird days. I just feel weird. I want to be someplace else. Sometime it is specific: a tea room in London, an aquarium, a cobblestone street, anywhere. When I am alone, I want nothing more than to be surrounded by people. And when I am among other people, I want nothing more than to be alone. Nothing feels right, not that or that and certainly not this. I am confused but I am inspired. When I get in this mood, the only thing to do is to let it ride out. And it always does. I feel more normal, lighter, already. It's true what they say. There's always tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl but I'm more excited about you-know-what. If you don't know what, that's okay. I'll pray for you.

P.S. It's funny to think that exactly a year ago today, it snowed. Today it was fifty four degrees (coldest it's been all week) with an avalanche of sunlight in the afternoon. I wonder if I've changed as much as the weather in one year. I'd like to think so, but that might be a bit generous. Then again, I am my own worst judge.

adriana

2012-01-31T20:33:00.001-06:00

My friend/neighbor/oftentimes model Adriana came over this weekend for a photo shoot of sorts. I only managed to get a few good shots before my camera battery died. Always so prepared, I am.

Some edits:

favorite.

Psst. Did you know Picnik is closing? I know -- what? The premium features are available to everyone until it closes so I took advantage of that here.

yes, i like to read

2012-01-30T21:11:00.000-06:00

I like getting new books. Even if I have no time to read them because of school.

Speaking of school, I am currently trying to write a poem...that rhymes...which I have to read in front of the class. I am discovering the wonders of RhymeZone.com and now I know why Charlie McDonnell wrote a song about it. A song that is currently in my head, of course.

Anyway, talk about books. Or something.

P.S. I am becoming increasingly fond of vertical pictures. I used to hate them, but now...I don't. Just so you know. 'Cause it's very important.

from the sketchbook

2012-01-26T20:52:00.000-06:00

I was in a drawing mood a few days ago. Thus, this. It's from a photo of a flower I found in a magazine.

I couldn't decide if that picture made it look better or worse, but I'm too lazy to take another one, so that's what you get. Actually, I think it looks better if you scoot a few feet away and squint your eyes and pretend I can draw. Just kidding...

Happy Thursday! xx

lost in my mind

2012-01-24T21:03:00.001-06:00

My journal is the clearest evidence that I spend more time in my head than anywhere else. All those pages of psychoanalysis and ramblings are what I deal with every day, in a much less organized manner. My mind is both a terrible and delightful place to be. Terrible, lately, because it's crazy in there and nothing makes sense, and it's awfully depressing a lot of the time. It can be delightful when it's a place for memories and wishes and dreams to convalesce but when those thoughts that inhabit it aren't as lovely, well, that's when I need to get out.

I need an escape, and there are all sorts. Sometimes, I listen to music but more often than not I find a way to relate the lyrics to my life and end up overthinking again. So I read a book or watch TV. I pretend I'm at Hogwarts or Downton Abbey and I pretend the characters are real, because even though there is ugliness in them, too, they can never hurt me. Everything from my world is forgotten when I slip into theirs.

Maybe so much escapism isn't healthy but certainly being immersed in reality all the time isn't ideal, either.

online personality tests as a form of procrastination

2012-01-18T21:22:00.000-06:00

It's what I do for fun.

Today I took the Jung Typology Test, which basically categorizes you as one of sixteen personality types based on questions you answer. Obviously it's not perfect but it's surprisingly accurate and I find stuff like this insanely interesting, anyway.

I got INFP, which stands for Introspective iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving.

"INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginative, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal." (via)

This part especially jumped out at me, because I was actually just going to write my occasional paper for English on that very subject:

"INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it."

Also:

"They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper." (via)

I think it's pretty spot on.

In addition, among the jobs listed were artist, photographer, & writer, which made me happy.

Take it here and tell me what you get! Doooo it!

i ♥ three day weekends

2012-01-16T11:37:00.003-06:00

On Saturday I went to some thrift stores just to look around. Vintage clothing stores are cool, but what I really like are the ones that house all sorts of old-fashioned nick-nacks. It's like stepping back into time, almost, which is a really cliche thing to say but it's also true.

picture actually taken at anthro at while ago. but it fit.

I love walking around and discovering all sorts of treasures. Among other things, I saw: globes, many of which I could tell were old because they still said "Yugoslavia"; typewriters; a Polaroid camera that I admired for a while but didn't end up getting because I couldn't justify getting another (film) camera so soon after receiving one; lots of other old cameras; rotary telephones in every color of the rainbow; a plethora of fantastic ugly sweaters; many cat figurines that reminded me of the room I always stay in at my grandpa's house; records, 8 tracks, 45s; the occasional turntable; vintage Valentines and greeting cards.

One of the stores also had this sizable collection of random old photographs dating back to the sixties and probably before. I thought about how strange it might be to be browsing there and see yourself or someone you know in a picture. A lot of them looked similar to ones I'd seen of my parents when they were little, with that same faded nostalgic feel of film.

I ending up getting a National Geographic from July 1955 because it's in great condition and has really cool pictures and ads and it's just really awesome overall.

Then my dad got coffee and I got iced tea and I had somewhat of an epiphany, which is that I don't actually like iced tea very much. It's okay, I guess, but I don't know why I always order it. Probably because everything else on the menu is scary sounding. I like hot tea, but the iced version just doesn't do it for me. I'm going to try something new next time. The rest of the day consisted of going to my sister's basketball game and going out for Chinese food for dinner. When I got home for the night I decided to start watching Downton Abbey from the first season. I'm very glad I did. I watched the first four episodes in two nights and I plan on keeping that up.

The best part about Sunday was getting frozen yogurt and watching TV.

And today? It's really overcast and gray out and I'm still in my pajamas. There is some leftover homework I must attend to, but I think it's going to be a pretty lazy day.

candles and fairies and kites

2012-01-14T16:52:00.011-06:00

These are some of what is contained within this post. (Also a creek and a cat who kept following us around.) My friends Claudia and Mayrose came over last weekend for a photo shoot thing. (I know, last weekend. I can never post anything on time, much to the distress of SOME PEOPLE.) The clothes and the candles are courtesy of Claudia (unintentional alliteration!). She has lovely taste in that sort of thing. (They also both have quite a talent for making faces, but unfortunately for you, you do not get to see those pictures. Right now.) Anyway. Here are some of pictures. There are a lot, and this isn't even all of them.

Don't worry, Claudia's not dead. And we didn't light the candles. If we did my house would probably be nothing but a pile of ashes right now! Okay, maybe not.

Also, I lied. We did light the candles for a little bit. But nothing else caught on fire. I think things not catching on fire is a sign of a successful shoot, am I right?

These next ones are probably my favorite, because of the lighting and soft focus and the general dreaminess I guess. It's like woodland fairies celebrating a sunny winter day! It was really warm that day.

Then we went up to the track and flew a kite.

Fun fun fun. Thank y'all for being lovely models!

the sunset tonight

2012-01-12T19:57:00.000-06:00

listening to: French music, as I do my Spanish homework, because I'm just so worldly.

I've always believed that winter sunsets are the prettiest.

Tonight's did not disappoint.

Happy almost-Friday. (And happy half birthday to me!)

unhappiness (or, some deep thoughts for a tuesday)

2012-01-10T21:56:00.000-06:00

Here's how it works. The amount of time I have for blogging is inversely related to my desire to blog. So right now, when I'm busy and should be working on homework, or at the very least showering so I can get to bed at a somewhat reasonable time, I felt the need to blog. Not that I have the slightest idea of what I'm going to say. I've started a few drafts recently and they all sort of deteriorate into me ranting about everything from school to cynicism. This might be the same; I make no promises.

I think there's something about January just makes me really depressed. At the very beginning, when we were still on break, I was pretty happy, but then school started and it's been on a downhill since. Sorta. I think it hit rock bottom yesterday when I spent a good fifteen minutes after getting home in the kitchen, agonizing loudly about how hungry I was and lamenting the fact that we didn't have any food. Then my mom came in and, perhaps in an attempt to put my problems into perspective, told me about this house nearby that caught on fire and exploded and killed someone. Like that made me feel any better.

Then I started thinking about how it actually makes me really upset when I see other people upset. The same way yawns are contagious, I think sadness is contagious for me. Maybe it's that way for everyone, but I'm just particularly susceptible to it? Like, I read things that are so devastatingly despairing and I truly wish I could do something to help that person, but most of the time it's completely out of my control. We all have problems and we all have to get through them on our own. You can be offered advice and encouragement and all that but in the end the only person who truly knows what's best is you.

Anyway, a lot of people seem to be sad/stressed/upset/other negative emotions lately and I think it has rubbed off on me. So maybe this unhappiness of mine has snowballed to this point because it is not just my own unhappiness but the unhappiness of those around me which I have unwillingly collected.

Today at school, for instance, I was literally just like "let me die." I really did not want to be there and I'm sure I looked it, too. I imagine I looked a bit like Wednesday Addams, you know, the one who never smiles. And later I sat in the waiting room for guitar and for whatever reason, tears started to form in my eyes. I wiped them away and didn't cry, but I could not stop worrying and thinking about everything bad. Then when I got into my lesson and actually started playing, I was surprised by how quickly everything else slid away when I concentrated on the notes. I never thought I was one of those people who's like "music is my everything" and I guess I'm really not, but it has definitely become more of something these days.

While we're on the topic of music (tangent: Wow, I have done an uncharacteristically superb job of segueing from paragraph to paragraph in this post...just thought I'd point that out as my posts usually could be read in bullet points) my new favorite thing is 8tracks. I listened to a playlist that was just Mozart and wow, it made me so calm, not to mention how ~intellectual~ and ~sophisticated~ I felt. I have an account there now and I may or may not make any playlists soon, you never know.

Whew. If you read all of this...I love you. Unless you're a creep. In which case, go away.

P.S. Mayrose, if you are reading this, I will put up the pictures sometime this week, probably Friday.

holidays, part ii.

2012-01-08T18:01:00.001-06:00

This is the second part of my trip, which takes place in Truckee, California.

Yeah, remember when I said there was no snow? I lied. There was a leeetle bit of snow. Patches here and there. Not enough for proper sledding or snow-shoeing, though.

We went on a walk around the lake one morning.

I also spent a lot of time indoors, reading, playing Scrabble, eating (mmm cookies!)...you know, the usual.

Le fin.

OKAY YAY that's over. It took me way too long to draft this. Now my eyes are going buggy.

holidays, part i.

2012-01-03T21:12:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures from California, as promised. This first part is from Christmas day. We opened presents in the morning and went for a walk later. The weather was pretty nice, if a bit on the cold side, but what else do you expect on Christmas? It's weird being up north where the sun sets earlier.

This is a really cute independent book store in the town square that I've been to before.

That up there, folks, is the largest wooden yo-yo in the world. It really works! I know what you're thinking, and yes, you do need to go add this to your bucket list right now.

a new year

2012-01-01T14:07:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! Here I shall post my resolutions, which are ongoing, and goals, which are more concrete things I want to accomplish this year.

~Resolutions~
-Worry less
-Be a better friend/do more things with friends
-Spend less time gathering inspiration (i.e. procrastinating) and more time actually working & creating
-Exercise more often (running?) (everyone and their dog makes this resolution but whatever)
-Just...I don't know, live. Have fun.

~Goals~
-Learn how to shoot film (my aunt gave me her old film camera for Christmas so now I just need film and...knowledge. Yippee!)
-Get my driver's permit finally
-Become better at drawing and painting
-Be vegan for a week
-Make my room awesomer (which is totes a word)

I'm hooooome. I spent part of my New Year's Eve in Las Vegas (not as fun as it sounds), trying to pick up free WiFi and watching my dad lose money on slot machines. We pulled into the driveway literally at midnight, in time to see my neighbors set off fireworks, and then we opened the remainder of the presents which I found quite satisfactory indeed. Chocolate! Then I slept for like nine hours and woke up and ate pancakes and why I am telling you all of this?

Vacation picture spam will probably begin tomorrow.

the year in review

2011-12-31T08:53:00.057-06:00

With the tick of a clock, another year passes by. It seems to go by so fast, faster with each year. Here's a recap of my year with some photos and memories from each month.

January: This was so long ago; I hardly remember it. But I found this picture and it reminded me of that berry bush we used to have in our front yard. A year later, thanks to construction, it isn't there any longer. It's these things I might forget if I didn't take pictures.

February: February was volatile. It was full of ups and downs, but one of my favorite moments was the snow day. There is nothing better than waking up and finding the yellow grass covered in white and realizing school has been canceled for the day.

March: I made red velvet cupcakes for the first time, by myself. I need to do that again. March also held spring break, during which some of my cousins came down and traveled with us to San Antonio.

April: Oh, April, hmm. April is always the beginning of the countdown to summer. It's when the weather starts to get warm and the flowers start to bloom and I just get restless wishing for summer. That's the general feeling of the month.

May: I remember going to the farmer's market on a Saturday morning, surveying the fresh fruits and vegetables and surreptitiously taking out my camera to snap a few pictures.

June: I went to Hawaii. More than a few early mornings (everything was different because of the large time difference) were spent at the beach, in company of only the waves and the sky. It rained a lot, but not unpleasantly and not in a way that interrupted anything. It was very much a way of life there, waking up to raindrops on the roof that would be gone by breakfast.

July: July was a big month in terms of beginnings and endings. I had my fifteenth birthday and experienced the very last Harry Potter movie, both of which prompted all sorts of nostalgia.

August: August marked the start of sophomore year, which has proved this far to be harder academically but easier socially, as I know more people. August was also the start of my brief venture into running in order to 'get in shape' for soccer. It was interesting while it lasts and maybe if it stops being so cold outside I'll start that again.

September: One thing that stands out about September is how hot it was. The drought was at its zenith and the temperature was up in the hundreds for days in a row. I remember one day, on the bus home, seeing a fire on the side of the highway. The ground was charred black and smoke was rising into the air. That was a month of wild fires.

October: After a lot of convincing, my dad and I traveled to Boston to visit family during a three day weekend. One day my cousin, her friend, and I walked around the city, browsing in stores and riding the train.

November: Another month of writing and another novel written. I was behind almost the whole month and I think I wrote three thousand words the last day to catch up. That was somewhat excruciating but ultimately rewarding.

December: This last one is from just yesterday, a perfect winter afternoon of ice skating and hot chocolate. Cold wind whipped my face and I had to burrow my gloved hands deep in my pockets. Of course it was all worth it once I had a warm drink in my hands. Tea is home, hot chocolate is vacation.

I think, in some ways, I grew a lot this year. I stopped hiding behind online aliases and opened up a little. I made new friends and I found new things that I love (and some I don't love as much). I traveled a lot this year, visiting a total of seven states, four for the first time. I learned a great many things and made a great many memories.

Also, notably: I stopped using emoticons so frighteningly often, and I am very glad about that. The absence of these atrocities makes re-reading old entries just a bit less embarrassing. :)

Well, I have lots of plans for next year but that's another post.

Happy last day of 2011.

for your entertainment

2011-12-29T20:35:00.001-06:00

Hello, Taz. I feel like this picture could greatly benefit from a witty caption. Anyone? (This is a few weeks old, because I, like previously mentioned, don't have my camera cord with me.)

Okay, full disclosure: I only posted this because I wanted to have an even 10 posts for the month. I know, I'm weird like that. I have one more long-ish post about reflections on the past year and how I've grown and you know, all that *~*~typical stuff~*~* planned for the 31st, probably. In case you were curious, my New Year's Eve plans involve flying home. Woop woop woop.

updates

2011-12-26T21:19:00.006-06:00

Hey. I'm here in California where the climate is remarkably similar to that of home: that is, mildly cool with warm spots throughout the day, usually when I am wearing my heaviest coat. Ah, well, we haven't gone to the mountains yet. Right now I'm wearing the comfiest robe which I got for Christmas and listening to West Side Story in the background.

Christmas was nice. It wasn't hugely exciting, like the time my cousin set a napkin on fire at my grandparents' annual Christmas party, and it wasn't like last year where my grandma came home from the hospital on Christmas day. This side of the family is a little more low key. It's just my grandparents and occasionally my uncle or great-grandma, who will be 96 next month. We opened presents, went to church, and had a traditional meal of ham. I got a sketchbook, a 36 pack of Prismacolors, this robe, a scarf my grandparents picked up in Italy, some boots (that I returned today for ones that fit better), Barnes & Noble gift cards and some money, among other smaller things (gum! a compact mirror so I can stare at my reflection no matter where I am!). It seems like a lot more when I list it out like that. What did you get for Christmas?

Today we went to see Hugo which I enjoyed as I am quite enamored with all things French these days. Three out of the four books I got at the library were set in Paris and I don't think I'm done with this.
Oh, and yes, the notable absence of photos in this post is due to (what else?) my forgetful nature. As in, I left my camera cord at home. So I'll have to wait until I get home to upload any pictures. I don't like doing things too long after they happen, but I suppose there's nothing else to do.

Happy Boxing Day, guys...whatever that is.

christmas lights

2011-12-23T21:23:00.001-06:00

Today we ate Thai food and looked at all the Christmas lights. It was cold and when we got home I had hot chocolate to warm up.

Yesterday I went to the library for the first time in months. I've just been so swamped with school that I've only been able to read a few books that people have sent me, and at a much slower pace than, say, over the summer. I'm happy to have some new reading material, though, and hopefully I'll be finished and can go again when I get home.

Tomorrow I leave for California for a week, where my maternal grandparents live. We'll be going up to the mountains for part of the time, where we would normally build snowmen and go skiing and snowshoeing and all that fun picturesque stuff. Only guess what? No snow. Yes, it was ONE degree Fahrenheit as of this morning, but there is no chance of snow predicted. ASDFJAKSDFASDFLJADFADSFJ! Freaking global warming and the freaking changing weather patterns. They had a bunch of snow in JUNE and now it's DECEMBER and there's no snow. So that sucks.

Buuut, it's Christmas. Maybe it's not a white Christmas, but hey, the wonder is still there. (Sorry the focus is off...it's hard controlling that sort of stuff when your hands are so cold they're about to fall off.)

I really need to go pack now. Nine a.m. flight...here I come! Have a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas if I don't stop by before.

winter solstice

2011-12-22T18:23:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, my friend Sydney came over and we made cookies. (As if we didn't have enough already.)
They were sugar cookies with a peppermint frosting we made from powdered sugar, milk, and crushed up candy canes. They were very delicious, thankyouverymuch.

This cat thinks he lives here now. I opened the back door this morning and he jumped in and started eating my cat's food.

I am enjoying winter break so far. Happy Solstice!

this is pouring rain

2011-12-19T20:26:00.001-06:00

After not raining for about six months it decides to start pouring exactly when I need walk to the bus.

Oh well.

The sound of the rain is worth it.

paper snowflakes on my windowpane.

2011-12-16T21:54:00.000-06:00

I made some paper snowflakes last weekend, folding and cutting until all the curves and gaps met together to create the right shape. My sister made some, too, and when we were done we taped them on the glass doors. It makes everything a little more festive. We don't get snow down in Texas, except for maybe one day in February. This doesn't bother me as much as it used to, partly because I'm used to it, partly because I know there'll be snow where I'm going for Christmas. And partly because this means it's not below freezing, which I appreciate. In the forties is cold enough for me, thank you very much. I can wait for California. In the mean time, I'll just be admiring my handiwork.

In other news... THE WEEK IS FINALLY OVER. Commence applause. I'm still alive.

Although I'm happy, I don't want to celebrate too soon. I still have two more days of finals and that involves writing a paper for art, yes art, giving a short presentation for Great Ideas, and *gulp* the Pre-Cal test. After that, I'm home free. I. Can't. Wait.

This week was, no exaggeration, terrible. Like, all of it. I had so much homework/studying to do and I stayed up too late practically every day and it felt like everything was working against me. My internet was being slow and yesterday the bus driver kicked my friend off the bus for not having the right kind of pass so all my plans were ruined and I had to walk home in the cold wet rain alone and then I had to work a lot and got very little sleep. My only consolation was talking to people who were going through the same thing and listening to calming music. But gosh, isn't that, like, the same for every teenager? I lufff my friendsss and music is mah life <3

Happy Friday!

christmas wishlist

2011-12-14T18:17:00.000-06:00

-Prismacolors
-sketchbook
-film camera + film (like this one)
-boots
-turquoise/light blue nail polish
-laptop
-iTunes money
-good grades
-idk

no more full days of school left -- just finals. okay, retreating back into my studying lair.

tangerine dreams and peppermint tea

2011-12-07T21:10:00.047-06:00

That's the current state of the union. The tangerine dream refers to my nail polish color. It looks less orange in real life. Also, I feel like I should inform you that I had peppermint tea tonight, but that is not what is in the picture. Otherwise I feel like a fraud.
//
I think my English teacher just Googles 'obscure words' and then gives us a quiz on them. I mean, penumbra? Nadir? That doesn't even sound like English. On the topic of school, I have two tests and a quiz tomorrow as well as another test and a quiz on Friday, plus my project for Drawing that I'm actually somewhat pleased with but nowhere near done with. Not to mention the fact that finals start next week. Eek.

So basically: I should be studying. Byesss.

Kendall

oh, december.

2011-12-03T15:07:00.001-06:00

Here comes the feeling you thought you'd forgotten.

It's December. That time of the year again. I don't really know what to think about that -- there hasn't been much time to just sit and ponder. School is extremely demanding. NaNo was demanding, but now it's over, thank goodness. And sometimes I pretend like I have a social life, and that's demanding, too. Basically, I haven't gone to sleep before eleven o'clock since, like, I don't even know. Freaking sleep debt. I slept in until 10:15 this morning, though. That felt nice.

The trees look they're caught in between fall and winter, and it's kind of been drizzling all day. The weather is confused, and so am I. About a lot of things. What else is new?

I kind of miss soccer now that the season's over and I kind of miss summer. It's like a constant longing, a constant nostalgia, not just for the past but for the future, too. For something different.

Most of all, though, I feel like everything I say is so insignificant and so I keep trying to rearrange the words into something that will make people want to listen and it's just making me crazy. I mean that in so many different ways: in my writing, in my blog posts, in 'real life'. I just feel so not eloquent and so not interesting. And I just, I don't know. I want people to know that I care, you know? But I've never been good at that.

Anyway, now we've got that out of our system, let's listen to some happy songs and talk about Christmas, because no matter what your mood, you can't not love Christmas! Well, unless, you're Jewish or something, but stop making my argument invalid.

Last night, we decorated the Christmas tree. Magic.

There has never been a truer ornament. (We also have, for the benefit of my younger sisters, ones that say the same thing about the middle child and the youngest. But we all know the truth. ;)

Despite all of my hesitations, I'm still excited for the holidays. Happy December!

Kendall

P.S. I deleted all my pages because I wanted to simplify, but if you click on my profile on the side, you can read more about me and see the blogs I follow. It's pretty much the same thing, just all in one place. :)

so, this happened.

2011-11-30T22:09:00.001-06:00

relevant quote: “If you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. I wish you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise. Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.” --Ray Bradbury

Aw yeah.

Final word count: 30,071

My original goal at the beginning of the month was 38,000, but I decided a little while in that that was too much for everything I had going on, so I switched it to 30,000. That was more manageable while still an improvement from last year.

Next year I am doing the real thing, whole sha-bang, 50K.

Until then? I am going to rest.

(HAHAHAHA JK I go to a magnet school.)

Kendall

tea makes everything better.

2011-11-29T23:06:00.001-06:00

Today was not a terrific day (it was one of those days when I wished I was home-schooled, if you know what I mean), but I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about things I like instead, like tea.

Right now I'm on my ~~second~~ third cup of Passion tea and it is an exceedingly wondrous shade of pink. See? It's kind of bitter, but very delicious. Mmm...I love it.

My grandmother sent me this tea cup + a matching tea pot as a confirmation gift last week and I have been putting it to good use. Tea is perfect while doing homework or writing or doing more homework, which is most of what I have been doing these past few days. Loads of fun. The 'gag me with a spoon' kind of fun. When do I graduate, again? Never mind, don't remind me. There are good things about school, though. Like today was unofficial "wear comfy jumpers and drink tea and knit" day at school. A bunch of people had their knitting and thermoses full of tea, although I unfortunately didn't have time in the morning to bring any. Next time, though.

In the meantime, I think I'll go get some more tea. What about you: what's your favorite type of tea? Any suggestions for types I have to try?

Current Word Count: 27,001
Kendall

thanksgiving break

2011-11-27T14:42:00.000-06:00

1. Walking. It felt like winter and it looked like fall in Kansas City. In case you didn't know, that's where I was from Tuesday to Saturday. We go there for Thanksgiving every other year.

2. Sculpting pie crusts.
3. Peeling apples for the pie.
4. Be thankful.
5. Rolls! Best when fresh out of the oven.
6. Playing Sorry outside with cousins. (It had warmed up.)
7. Thanksgiving meal.
8. Friday, we went and saw the Muppet Movie.
9. And then looked at the lights.
10. Ushering in the Christmas season. I'm perfectly okay with that. More than okay.

Current Word Count: 22,825
Kendall

joining the thankfulness bandwagon.

2011-11-24T08:07:00.003-06:00

It's Thanksgiving, so of course I had to make a list of things I'm thankful for. I mean, like, what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't?

I'm thankful for (in no particular order):

-Thanksgiving. For the chance to be here in Kansas City, to be with family, to be on break from school, and just to celebrate this holiday.
-food. My one true love. Cough.
-books. I have more things to read than I could ever have time for. I guess it's better than the alternative.
-my camera.
-my friends.
-music.
-family. Even though they drive me crazy practically all the time, I'm still thankful for them.
-nature.
-the internet. The internet is great. Need proof? Go here. And refresh the page several times. Bam. Where else can you find such quality entertainment?
-my cats. :)
-soccer.
-laughter.
-the changing of the seasons.
-ya'll.
-being from Texas. Having real good Tex-Mex, saying "ya'll" and wearing shorts in November. But not getting a sunburn in November. I am not thankful for that.
-life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Current Word Count: 20,370
Kendall

cameras & hands

2011-11-21T11:11:00.011-06:00

are two of my favorite subjects to photograph.

I like how delicate and nimble hands are, how practical and pretty they can be.

Cameras are just lovely, and close to my heart.

The hands, and the camera, belong to my cousin. I took these whilst in Boston, more than a month ago. How time flies! I'll get to see her again this week, for Thanksgiving. Huzzah!

Current Word Count: ? I don't know, since this is scheduled. Betting it's dismal though. Last time I checked my estimated finishing time was December 15th. LOL YEP.
Kendall

odds and ends

2011-11-19T22:20:00.025-06:00

This week didn't start off great, but it ended much better.

Wednesday evening I went to Anthropologie to pick up a sweater and oh my gosh all I want for Christmas is everything there. Seriously.

Thursday was a late start at school, so I went to IHOP for breakfast with some friends. They had this gingerbread hot chocolate which I tried and it was amazing. I love seasonal food.

And today, I went shopping and got a winter coat, a pair of jeans, a shirt, and some shoes. I noticed afterward that they're all either black or grey. I already own way too much grey clothing. It may be an addiction.

Wow, reading that over, it seems like a lot of my happiness stems from clothes and food -- that's not materialistic at all! But in all seriousness, I have a lot of other things for which I am glad. I'm in the middle of a good book -- I haven't really had time to sit down and read for ages, which is depressing, but this weekend I've found time. And there's only two more days of school until Thanksgiving break, but Monday is a field trip and Tuesday is Field Day, so it's really only like one class period. Still have Chem homework though. :( Oh, well!

Happy weekend or whatever!

Current Word Count: 17,122 (I been slacking *hangs head in shame*)
Kendall

P.S. One year ago, today, the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out in theatres. I was at the midnight showing. How can that already be a year ago? *sob* Time, how it flies.

wild geese

2011-11-15T22:49:00.000-06:00

This poem is exactly what I needed today. // The leaves are finally changing colors here. // It rained today, long enough to leave puddles. // I went to the dentist this morning. Spent the whole time thinking about how much I hate it. The dentist asked me if I wanted to be a dentist. // I can't wait for Thanksgiving.

Current Word Count: 13,010 (So very behind. And yet, so very inspired.)
Kendall

sunrise to sunset

2011-11-12T22:42:00.000-06:00

I got to see the sunrise this morning. Not that it wasn't lovely, but it was 6:45 in the morning, on a Saturday, and that is just wrong. I had a soccer game at 7:30 (lost), one at 11:15 (won), and there's another one tomorrow.

I managed to miss 11:11 on 11/11/11...both times. Skillz.

This week wasn't great. I felt really sick to the point where I stayed home from school on Tuesday; now it's just a bad cold. Cough drops and tissues are necessities this time of year. School was also stressful in its usual stressful way. On top of that, every time I tried to blog, I either had no time or no inspiration. That's no fun. Oh, well, "this too shall pass" and all that. On the bright side, though, there have been many bright sides, which include but are not limited to: only one full week of school left until Thanksgiving, gingerbread pancakes (not those^), getting a dress, and finally reaching 10K words tonight.

From sunrise to sunset, it was a full day, but now it's over. The sun has gone to bed and so must I. (Cheers to those of you now singing that song. I wonder how many musical allusions I can make in here...)

sunset

Yeah, I really should go to bed now. Happy weekend!

Current Word Count: 10,050
Kendall

nanowrimo excerpt #1

2011-11-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

Feeling lazy, so you get this. It's kind of depressing. Then again, someone dies in the second chapter (*spoiler alert*) so it's kind of a recurring theme. There's that.

The choir sang “Amazing Grace” and I leaned forward so my hair covered my face. By the end, my mascara was running down my face in a spiderweb of black. Why had I worn makeup?

We rode in a limousine to the cemetery. It was nothing like the last time I rode in one, for Liz's fourteenth birthday party. There was no mini-fridge stocked with soda or radio blasting the latest hits. It was a quiet ride I spent staring out the window. I let my mom braid my hair, cherishing the way her nimble fingers wove in and out and grazed my neck. I shook it out when she finished, though, and she didn't protest.

There was a lot of standing around. Prayers were said and words were whispered and the coffin was lowered into the ground. It was only when I started to walk away that I realized I was shaking. It was more than shivering, though there was that, too. It was the ghosts of lives cut short, brushing up against me. I ran all the way back to the limo, on the pretense of being cold. It was the smell of death that scared me, though.

Ok, guiz, I worked sooooo hard on that so please don't steal my precious perfect work of art or I will prosecute you to the full extent of the law!!1!

Yeah no.

Current Word Count: 6,237
Yep. Yep. No, you don't have to tell me.

Kendall

the girl who ate the pomegranate seeds

2011-11-07T22:09:00.000-06:00

Persephone, captured and detained by Hades in the underworld, ate six pomegranate seeds. Each seed represented a month of darkness for the world, so there are six months of cold, harsh winter (some versions say four; whatever floats your boat). When these months are over, she is released from the underworld and her mother Demeter makes it spring again.

That myth is one of my favorites.

One good thing about the onset of winter is the food, specifically the fruit. Hello pomegranates + grapefruit.

The darkness before dinner caught me off guard; likewise, waking up after the sun was strange. Of course today the sun never really came out. The sky was completely grey, the way I like it. It even sprinkled for a few minutes on the bus, but no real rain came out of it.

Tea and writing.

Right now I feel pretty awful. My throat is sore, I feel warm (fever? I refuse to believe it!) and I'm soooo tired. All I want for Christmas is to sleep forever. I wish I was Sleeping Beauty.

Current Word Count: 6,054
Yes, I am still somewhat woefully behind, but I'm doing my best.

Kendall

inspiration station

2011-11-04T21:00:00.066-05:00

Some people call it procrastination; I prefer the phrase "refueling inspiration."

(Click on pictures or links below for sources.)

i've been listening to this on repeat

via

via (don't know original source)

via

Happy, happy Friday, dears! :)

Current Word Count: 2,813 (Shut up; I'm going to get caught up this weekend.)
Kendall

it's november

2011-11-01T21:18:00.052-05:00

and you know what that means...

...NaNoWriMo, otherwise known as National Novel Writing Month, otherwise known as I should be writing right now.

November is full of:
eating candy left over from Halloween (how can people not be a fan of this holiday? It is my favorite! Hello, free candy!)
drumming on the keyboard trying to think of what to write next
endless cups of water and tea
the constant checking of word count
wishing everyone would shut up so I can concentrate
and also
the beginning of the holidays (a light at the end of the word-filled tunnel?)

Right now I've only written a little over a thousand words. It was slow starting, but now I feel like I could write forever! Maybe not. There are some people who can write 3,000 words in one sitting, and some people who have practically all day in which to write this. I, unfortunately, do not fall into either of these categories! I fall into the category of "girl who already doesn't get enough sleep because of school and has an only partially formed idea but really really does not want to lose."

Happy November! Are you doing NaNo?

Kendall
1,013 words

collecting moments

2011-10-29T16:41:00.073-05:00

I recently saw a quote that said: "Collect moments, not things." I think that's perfect. It sums up what I love about photography and writing and blogging quite well. I'm just collecting moments. Here are a few.

//good morning.

A cool front came in yesterday. I'm enjoying the crisp air and but I'm also remembering the not-so-great things. Like having to get out of my warm, comfortable bed and into the blustery world so early in the morning. Whyyyyyyy. At least there's breakfast. Lord knows I love me some breakfast.

// carnival.

My elementary school's carnival was today, so I went for a little while. It's fun to gorge on cotton candy and watch the cake walk and the Pringle toss and all the little things like that.

// pumpkins.

We finally got our pumpkins today. Pumpkins are the soul of this season, so I'm happy.

love,
the exhausted
Kendall

lately

2011-10-25T21:31:00.001-05:00

{I feel} tired. busy. happy.

{I want} to watch a movie, bake some cookies, and sleep forever.

{I wish} my mom would buy Nutella again. I'm just going to keep putting it on the grocery list until she does. That, and gum. I really want some gum right now.

{I need} some sleep. And better grades.

{I have} the beginnings of holes in my TOMS. Really?

{I anticipate} for this weekend: buying & carving pumpkins, going to my elementary school's carnival, and playing/watching soccer.

{I decided} that it would be nearly impossible for me to write 50,000 words in a month on top of everything else I have going on. But, I still want to do NaNoWriMo, so I'm just going to do the youth version again (cause I'm still under 18, yahpow) and write about 38,000 words. It's more than last year, but still manageable, and I'll feel better accomplishing a smaller goal than failing to meet a larger one. Now I feel excited without feeling too overwhelmed. :)

{I love} brownies, and brownie batter even more. the cool front that's supposed to come in a few days. cats. getting newspaper clippings from my grandpa in the mail. not having any homework after two days of four essays and two tests.

Kendall

post idea {credit}

the disposable camera

2011-10-21T18:16:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago, back in September, I bought a disposable camera to experiment with. These things are wildly unpredictable, so I had very little idea how my pictures would turn out. You can't change any of the settings on the camera and even when you look through the viewfinder, it's different than what you see in the pictures.

I got the prints back a few days ago and sure enough, there were some that were completely black and some that were completely blurry. Maybe I'm not being fair, though, because I actually really like how some of them turned out. It's that old, faded feel, you know?

Happy, happy Friday!

Kendall

what pictures can't show

2011-10-19T20:41:00.000-05:00

completely unedited purple sky. I have never seen it that color before. clearly sunsets are one thing pictures can show.

No matter how hard you try, there will always be some things that can't be shared through photographs, like smells, tastes, sounds, and feelings (and vampires?). Then there are the times when you don't have your camera, so words have to suffice. I greatly admire anyone who can paint a picture with words and make you feel like you are in the scene. That's what I want to be able to do someday. Someday.

Here are some moments that couldn't be photographed, but I still want to remember:

Watching the sun rise on the way to school. Not just the colors and the light, but the quiet that punctures the car. Me, waking up alongside the sun.

The songs stuck in my head. It's gone from Ke$ha to Starkid to some Spanish song I only know one line of. Basically, it's whatever the people around me are singing.

The chilly air that has swept down and covered our town. I don't know how long it will last before the temperature rises again, but I'm enjoying breaking out the sweaters and extra blankets.

The loudness of my house after dinnertime. Pandora is always on, my sister is always eagerly telling a story, and the phone seems to be perpetually ringing. No matter how many times I lament that I cannot concentrate with that much noise, it still continues. Who knows; maybe someday, I'll miss it.

Longing for the cabin (speaking of missing). I miss different places at the randomest times. Lately it's been my grandparents' cabin in California. I miss the mountains and the lake, and every time I see a picture of either of those, I picture myself there. We're going there for Christmas, and I'm excited because it's been more than a year. I like the snow, the fireplace, the scenery. It's beautiful. You can take pictures of a place, but not of your thoughts of a place.

Finally, time. How can you accurately document time passing? I don't think you can. The flurry of moments that all seem to blend together combined with the disbelief of how quickly they fly by. That's how I feel right now. I can't believe it's already October 19th, more than halfway through the month. I'm probably going to be busy busy busy for a while -- definitely in November as I'm, uh, writing a novel -- but it's mostly a good busy.

Happy middle-of-the-week!

Kendall

headache-induced ramblings

2011-10-15T20:36:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in this world, there is a girl sitting cross-legged on her bed. She is drinking peach tea and eating a chocolate chip cookie and typing away on an iPad that is not hers. There is a faint aching in the back of her head, probably from that afternoon's soccer game. She doesn't want to talk about that. Instead, she takes another sip from her warm mug and looks around her. She is surrounded by notebooks, pens, and a dictionary, all gateways to words. She will admit proudly to having read the dictionary earlier. Where else can you find words like eleemosynary? What a strange word. The girl stops typing for a minute and gets up to brush her hair. Settling back into the sheets, she pushes away her worries once more. All the things she has to tell herself, don't think about that.

The words stop coming as fast. It's just a trickle now. The iPad is at 38% battery. It's only 8:33. She remembers a time long ago when that was late. Not so anymore. But the tea is becoming lukewarm and the girl feels like she has said all there is to say. None of it is deep, or poetic, but it's what she wanted to write. That's all that matters, she thinks, promising herself longer, better posts soon.

And so she presses publish.

i'm just happy i made it to friday

2011-10-14T19:44:00.000-05:00

This week was kinda hectic. Juggling homework in seven classes, soccer, guitar, church and other things at home can get crazy. On top of all that, I was thinking about doing tech theater for our school's play this winter. I was about to sign up, but then today I found out there was no more room. To be honest, I was really disappointed. I thought I was doing the right thing by reaching out, trying something new, and getting involved. All my friends are going to be in it, and I was excited. But, you know, maybe this is just a way of saying I need to focus on other things right now. And there's always next year.

These days just by. It's hard to believe it's already been a week since I was in Boston. Crazy. I miss that foliage, but Texas has its perks. Like, um, uh, I'll get back to you on that one. {I told my dad the other day when it was really hot that I was getting out of here as soon as I could and never moving back. I need someplace pretty, please. And maybe not so conservative. I like my city but the landscape is not so attractive, eh?}

That's from Boston. If I saw anything like that here, I'd probably start hyperventilating. Maybe. We're still getting into the spirit of the season, though. Our pumpkin lights are up and the weather is maybe sometimes just a little bit cooler. It's the small things, right?

Well, I hear some pizza calling my name. Have a great weekend!

Kendall

a weekend trip to boston

2011-10-11T20:29:00.013-05:00

So this is what it's like to not blog for six days. I'd say I'm sorry, but in all honesty, dear blog, I owe you nothing. I've just been insanely busy with all sorts of things. But because deep down I really do love you, here's a long post.

So...this weekend, I went to Boston. I went to visit my cousin, because she probably won't live in America again for a while (the last time I got to visit her home was when she lived in CA in second grade), because it was a three day weekend, and because I worked on my parents for months beforehand. Now, when I say Boston, I really mean the greater Boston area, like Cambridge and Belmont, where they just moved.

My dad and I got into Boston late Friday night. The next morning, we met up with my aunt and cousin Clarissa. We went to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. It has this lovely garden in the middle and rooms all around it furnished with lots of paintings. We even saw a letter written by Marie Antoinette -- I thought that was pretty neat. Unfortunately, as is the case with many museums, there was no photography permitted.

After that, we walked around a little bit before getting some Japanese food for lunch. I'm not a big fish or seafood person...at all...but I make do.

The rest of the day, I hung out at my cousin's house, helped her with her photography homework, watched her brother do yard work, and took a lot of pictures myself. I found the prettiest leaf. Do you see that? Gorgeous.

Dinner that night was provided by my cousins' other (Italian) grandparents. Let's pretend that picture is intentionally out of focus, shall we?

The next day Clarissa and I took a bus to Harvard Square. We explored the campus a bit. It was very green compared to Texas. I probably remarked about that a lot, but well, what else can I say?

Then we met her friend to do some shopping. We went to the Garment District. It's this thrift store that has a dollar-per-pound section, where there is a whole room literally covered with clothes. You have to sit there and dig through for a while, but you can find some pretty nice stuff for really cheap.

Also, there is a stop with my name!

We stopped for a snack before exploring a bit more of the city.

Monday morning we went to look at the Columbus Day festivities happening. It was warm, but it looked especially autumnal.

Then we went to the Museum of Fine Arts. My family really likes museums, in case you haven't noticed. Like, a lot. Anyway. The most astonishing thing about this one was the fact that you could take pictures!

I was wondered, all right.

I saw some paintings. Yes, I did. I'm getting tired and so first-grade sentences are all you're going to get, blog. Didn't we already talk about this?

So that, for the most part, was my weekend in Boston. It was lovely and fun and all together too short. Three days are really not enough to know a city, so I hope I can go back someday and have more time to explore. Until then, I have plenty of memories and photos to tide me over. :)

I'll probably share a few leftover pictures later, but right now I want to go paint my nails or eat dessert or watch TV. Hopefully all three. Happy Tuesday!

Kendall

golden october

2011-10-05T20:35:00.025-05:00

I can't believe it's already October. I know, I know, it's the fifth day already, but still. It seems like it was just summertime, and now it's already the second six weeks of school? *insert a 'where has the time gone' spiel here* Things are as busy as ever here. It's one thing to another with little respite in between. That's not to say I'm not enjoying it, but it's all very fast!

I had a field trip to an art museum today. I like art museums; I like the way it sounds when you walk and how the paintings are reflected on the shiny waxed floor and just the art in general. That was most of the morning. Then, we got back to school in time for last period of the day. We were just contentedly drawing and then this terrible, ear-piercing siren comes on and we all have to go outside. It was a fire drill, but we didn't know that at the time. With the conditions like they are, and so many wildfires around, I wouldn't have been too surprised if it wasn't a drill. But because nothing that dramatic ever happens to me (not that I want my school to burn down!!) everything was fine.

I got home, checked blogs, did confirmation homework, had a snack, started English homework, ate dinner, went to confirmation class, and now I have my World History documents open which, let's face it, is practically the equivalent to working on it. That's my uber-exciting day. But speaking of exciting...

I get to see my cousins on Friday! Two of 'em, anyway. I am super pumped because a) the last time I visited them at their house, I was in second grade, b) I have always wanted to see New England in the fall, c) There is a HIGH temperature of 62 degrees! High! And the low is 48! What does one wear in that sort of weather, anyway? I have no earthly idea. Oh, and d) Because I love my family. And I love traveling.

There'll be more on that later. Right now, I have some homework calling my name! Actually, it is slowly being drowned out by the voices of Modern Family and a popsicle, but you know, I'm working on it. I want to have good grades this time. Sigh.

Hope you're having a happy, golden October so far!

Kendall

P.S. Some follow up on my last post: My blog isn't my diary, and there will always be things I don't share here. I certainly don't recommend ranting about specific people at your school on your public blog -- things like that will come back to haunt you -- and no one wants to read a blog made up entirely of complaints. But it's not a bad thing to acknowledge the things in your life that are wrong, you know. It's not bad to talk about trivial things, either. Just don't be afraid to be real. Basically, I think, as with most things in life, it's important to maintain a balance. But these are just my thoughts; you're free to post whatever you want. It's your blog, after all.
I just want to thank you for all the nice things you had to say. I enjoyed reading your comments. :)

perfect is only a facade

2011-10-03T18:32:00.000-05:00

I've talked about jealousy before on here, but I've continued to think about it so I thought I'd follow it up and expound a little. Specifically, I want to talk about the perfection perpetuated by blogging, how it makes me feel, and what can help get rid of it.

Some blogs are emotional dumping grounds, which is fine, but most of the ones I follow are filled with stunning photography and/or well-formulated words about life. That's a lot of what I like to read and what inspires me, so that's just fine. But sometimes, when reading a blog, I just have to shake my head. It's too perfect. When every sentence has some variation of the word "happy" or "love". When there are dozens of comments proclaiming how talented said blogger is. And when I'm hard pressed to find anything I can identify with.

All those posts about how wonderful your day was make me smile at first, but then I sigh. I spent my day doing homework and watching TV. A post about that would be positively boring compared to yours. Everything I do is boring compared to you. I am happy, I suppose, but I'm not interesting. And so the doubts about myself begin again. I'm not a good writer, I'm not a good photographer, I'll never get any more followers. I don't have that many friends or do that many fun things or take that many pictures. It's a spiral, and when taken too far, jealousy can lead to hatred. I definitely don't hate anyone -- I don't believe in wasting energy that way. But this is a feeling we've probably all had, and it's not a fun one.

This is something I've realized only as I'm writing this. I used to only want to read happy, pretty photography blogs, so sweet they were saccharine. But now, I find myself searching for the real. For the raw, the truthful, the beautiful. I want to read something I can relate to. If that's about being stressed by school or just loving cats, so be it. Just write the truth, not an embellished version of it. If you're feeling happy, write about that. If you're feeling upset, let it out. I know no one's life is perfect. Write about what's on your mind, not what you think people want to read. It's okay if it's not perfect -- perfect's only a facade, really. Write about your thoughts, really, honestly, and in your own way, and it will be more interesting than any cookie-cutter blog about how much someone loves vintage. Guarantee.

It's hard. I know it's hard. It's so much easier just to take a few pictures of a flower and call it a day. I've done that before and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it every once and a while. It's your blog, after all. But I'd much rather read, or see through pictures, your thoughts and experiences. We probably have a lot in common, and if we'd both stop trying to cover it up with glossy and edited versions of the truth, we could be friends. Whaddaya say?

The internet has created entirely new ways for people to become jealous. With so many bloggers only showing what they think is their very best, the notion that "everyone is better than me" and the subsequent inadequate feeling is further propelled. But it doesn't need to be like that. If people were more honest and open and let go of their insecurities, we'd probably all be happier.

That's my two cents. What do you think?

Kendall

a 'last resort' sort of thing

2011-09-30T22:26:00.002-05:00

What do you do when you are super bored and uninspired and still feel like posting? Dun dun dun...one of these surveys. I've seen this on a number of blogs and it's kind of fun, so give it a try if you feel like it.

A. Age: 15.
B. Bed size: Single? It's the smallest one. If I stretch out sometimes my feet hang off the edges.
C. Chore that you hate: Garbage.
D. Dogs: Are nice. But I don't have any.
E. Essential start to your day: Breakfast. I don't know how people don't eat breakfast! It's best with a little chocolate.
F. Favorite Color: It changes. Blue, green, purple, yellow. Mostly some variation of that.
G. Gold or Silver? Gold.
H. Height: 5'7 1/2". I think...
I. Instruments you play: Classical guitar!
J. Job title: None. I used to babysit but that hasn't happened in a while...
K. Kids: See letters A and D.
L. Live: In Texas.
M. Mother's name: Andrea.
N. Nicknames: Most people call me Kendall, but sometimes I'm called Kendallita, or Kahn-dall or Kahn-dal-lisa Rice by my cousin. :P
O. Overnight hospital stays: None! Except maybe when I was born but I don't think that's really what they're looking for...
P. Pet peeves: When people walk really slowly right in front of me in the hallway. Better yet, when they actually stop in the middle of the hallway to talk. Priceless.
Q. Quote from a movie: "I'm going to bed before either you come up with another clever idea to get us all killed. Or worse -- expelled!"
R. Right or left handed: Right handed! Both my parents are lefties, though; fun fact.
S. Siblings: Two younger sisters, Lauren and Mallory.
T. Time you wake up: 6:15-ish weekdays, a few hours later on the weekends.
U. Underwear? Underwear.
V. Vegetable you hate: Onions! They are vile.
W. What makes you run late? Getting distracted by my iPod, or falling back asleep in the mornings.
X. X-rays you've had: I've had my foot x-rayed for something and I've been x-rayed for scoliosis, both as 'just-in-case' things, but I've never broken anything (yet. Knock on wood).
Y. Yummy food that you make: Cupcakes. Chocolate chip cookies. I make pretty good cereal, too.
Z. Zoo animal: Bears. Bears are the best, man.

Happy Weekend!

Kendall

banned books week

2011-09-28T17:40:00.005-05:00

This week, September 24-October 1, is Banned Books Week! It celebrates literacy and freedom and the First Amendment.

This is a cause near and dear to my heart, which means I can rant on and on about it. I love reading and I believe in having the freedom to choose what you want to read.

I don't think it's right to ban a book or remove it from a library simply because a few people or groups of people disagree with what was written. A lot of the time books are banned from, say, schools because they are considered to have inappropriate words or ideas or events in them. Alright. But most of the time when books contain vulgar language or uncomfortable subjects, it's because that's what happens in real life and the author is only trying to portray it realistically, without sugar-coating it. They're not trying to corrupt our minds; they're just telling it like it is. Walk through the halls of any middle or high school, and you will hear curse words thrown out casually. Kids are exposed to this every day, and taking away books isn't going to shelter them any more.

On a similar thread, Harry Potter has been challenged repeatedly because of the subject of witchcraft. What some people don't seem to understand is that reading something doesn't mean you believe in it. We have to read Marx in school; does that mean they're trying to make us Communists? Of course not. By reading books, you gain a better understanding, not only of other cultures and other lives, but your own as well.

Here's a little review on a banned book I enjoyed.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
My friend told me about this book a few years ago. She's also the one who told me to read Gone With the Wind and the Hunger Games, so I guess we have similar tastes. Anyway, I bought it used a while ago and it wasn't until several months later that I actually started to read it. It took me a long time to get through, mainly because of the long sentences and the confusing names (there are legit at least 23 characters with the name Aureliano -- but most of them aren't important) and family tree. However, once you look past the surface, you enjoy the stellar story line and the intriguing characters.
It's set in the fictional, South American town of Macondo and it follows several generations of the Buendia family who live there. It details marriages, wars, births, and deaths. It's magic realism, so it incorporates things not normally found in real life seamlessly with history. It's been a while since I read it, but it's essentially the life of a family, with all the good times and the bad swirled together and mixed with some excellent writing.
Some people have accused this book of promoting "offensive language, disrespect for religious and political authority, and sexually explicit, emotionally disturbing scenes and themes, including war, death, incest and implications of the occult". While it may contain brief passages of those above concepts, it ties back to what I said earlier. Just because the book mentions incest doesn't mean the author thinks it's okay. It doesn't mean that now that I've read this book, I think it's okay. No, no, no. I will concede that it contains mature themes and if you don't think you're mature enough or don't want to read about those things, then by all means, don't read this book. But I don't think it's emotionally disturbing. It's a story and I'm still pretty emotionally together after reading this. Read at your own discretion, but know if you pass it over because of a few things, you'll be missing a great story.

That's my two cents on Banned Books Week. Read any good banned books lately? (Here's a list of some.)

Kendall

i was made for sunny days

2011-09-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

It seems like I'm always talking about how much I wish it would just get cooler already. Right? It was 103 degrees when I walked home from school today and the sun was shining down from the sky. As always. It's September 26th, some people have already had their first frost, and it's in the hundreds here. I keep holding my breath for rain, or even just enough cloud cover to cool us off for a bit. But the sun is always there.

So today I decided, if it's going to be sunny, I might as well enjoy it. Looking at pictures from this past weekend helps me do just that.

Beautiful flowers! One thing I will miss as the days turn to winter. If that, you know, ever happens.

For my pomegranate loving friends. :) I found this on my walk a few days ago. See, it was pretty bad. The seeds were still a little sweet, but nowhere near what they should have been. Guess I'll have to go back in a few months to see if there are any better ones.

I know I do tend to ramble on about the weather a lot, but it's more interesting to me than, say, the homework I should be doing. Maybe I'll be a meteorologist when I grow up! If I stay here, it will be easy: sunny skies forever.

That said...fall.come.quickly.

Kendall

autumnal inspiration

2011-09-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

New favorite quote: "I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all, I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." (Agatha Christie)

I woke up this morning with my window open. I could feel the cool air rushing in and I had to draw my blankets closer around me so I didn't get too chilly. The world was quiet. Except for the faint sounds of cars zooming by and construction workers off in the distance, I was alone. My dad is out of town this weekend, my mom and sister were at her soccer game, and my other sister was still asleep. It was so blissful.

I woke up feeling wonderfully inspired. The first day of autumn was yesterday, and though I'm a summer girl, autumn just invigorates me like no other season. Last night, after copious blog-reading, Pinterest-browsing, and music-listening, I got my first idea for my novel. This made me happy, because I'd been worried I'd have to plunge in without any planning. Not so!

Autumn also heralds all things pumpkin, so Mom made some chocolate chip pumpkin muffins. We have these year-round, but they're especially good this time of year, because it feels so appropriate.

Yesterday, I learned the limits of my camera card for the first time since I got it. 556 pictures. I've never had that many on at the same time. I have a bunch of deleting to do...

I still have the whole rest of the day ahead of me. I have stuff I have to get done at some point, but there are so many possibilities.

It's a beautiful day.

Kendall

underneath the stars.

2011-09-21T21:17:00.001-05:00

originally written yesterday night

wish I could find proper credit for this

I went outside expecting a cloudy, starless night. It's what you get used to from living in the city. But when I looked up, the overwhelming royal blue sky was dotted with glowing orbs, light years away. I had a sudden urge to lie in the dying grass and just look. Stargaze. And so I thought, what the heck, and lay my head down in the drought-ruined blades of grass.

Later, I went running underneath those same stars. It was cooler than previous nights -- not cool by any stretch of the word, but more comfortable. I pushed myself further and ran more than I walked. And every once in a while, when I needed motivation, I'd look up at the sky.

I'd see the Big Dipper -- the easiest to spot -- and maybe a few of the other ones. Cygnus the Swan, the Pegasus, Cassiopeia. I love the names of stars, and I love their stories even more. Every summer at camp, we go to the big, blow-up planetarium, where the constellations are reflected onto the walls, and listen to the ancient legends retold. The kind of myths people gather around a campfire to listen to. They come from Native Americans and Ancient Greeks and everywhere. Everywhere, they looked up at the stars. What they saw is still there, for the most part. They used the constellations for navigation, and so too do I. Just in a different way. They looked to see which way was North; when I look, it's to feel like I belong.

Maybe that's why I named this blog Starry Nights + Sunny Days. Maybe it's why I chose the alias of Starr when I first started blogging. Maybe it's why, even before that, in third grade, I joined Astronomy with dreams of becoming an astronaut. I've always loved this mysterious galaxy. It makes me feel tiny and huge all at once. It makes me feel like myself.

inspiration: read - listen - look

Kendall

in the quiet

2011-09-18T22:09:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day. I love lazy, autumn Sundays.

This morning, I convinced my dad to take me to Starbucks after church. I got a pumpkin spice latte, which I've been wanting to try ever since everyone started mentioning them in their blogs and stuff. My mom was a bit put out that I got coffee, and I was like, really? Almost everyone I know, my age and younger, drinks it, and I don't think one shot of espresso is going to kill me. Anyway, I don't like coffee unless it has a ton of sugar and stuff in it, like this. My dad's plain iced coffee? Too bitter. This probably would have been better if it was about thirty degrees cooler, but it's still tasty, and I like pretending it's cold outside.

This is one for the books...I actually finished all my homework that's due tomorrow by about one o'clock. So proud. I did all (10+ pages of) my Spanish homework and my History homework yesterday, and then today I did my Chemistry and got a 100 (it's one of those online things where it tells you your score.)

The rest of the afternoon I painted and sketched and read poetry from books from secondhand stores. Okay, that was only for like, five minutes, but I managed to take a picture.

Soccer game this evening = 6-0 win. We've won all our games so far, but none of them actually count in the standings. It was really dark and...ominous..during the game, and I actually saw lightning a few times, but it never rained where we were. Big, long sigh.

Altogether, I had a nice weekend, with lots of good food (banana chocolate chip pancakes + Chipotle on Saturday...yum. Not together, of course, but, you know...) and weird weather. Tomorrow it's back to the grind! *unexcited cheer* Hope you all had a great weekend, too!

Kendall

a dustland fairytale

2011-09-16T22:21:00.000-05:00

she's always barefoot.

Thursday afternoon I had very little homework so that translated into a short impromptu photo shoot with my neighbor, at least until my camera battery died. She's in a lot of my pictures, but when you live across the street, it's hard not to be. It was fun -- more fun than homework, at least. (But it's not really hard to top that.) It kind of reminded me of the song A Dustland Fairytale, just because of the dusty streetscape and the 'party dress'. As always, some of them turned out better than others. What do you think?

Happy weekend!

Kendall

happy and happier.

2011-09-14T21:05:00.005-05:00

Happy is one of those words I overuse, like lovely and gorgeous and great. This is me acknowledging that and then continuing to overuse it. Also, I am acknowledging this is more of a list than an actual post, but I'm busy as a bee right now, so bear with me.

Things that make me happy:

-finally having the time to blog.

-relief, pure and simple. I had a paper that had to be read out loud I was dreading but now that it's over with I feel so much better.

-birthdays! Yesterday was my sister's 13th birthday (OMG so old!), and I know a bunch of people with birthdays these next few days.

-cheesecake.

-iPhone pictures.

-baby squirrels in my yard. Adorable.

-cute water bottles & giving spontaneous gifts.

-doughnuts. It's Obesity Awareness Week and so apparently the best way to celebrate this is by giving everyone free doughnuts in advisory? I'm in.

-getting the rest of Adele's 21. Finally.

-handing in an draft of an essay that you wrote the period before on a page of notebook paper and getting a better grade than people who have three pages printed. LIKE A BOSS.

What would make me happier:

-cooler weather.
-rain.*
-time to read all these books!
-macarons.
-a dress magically appearing in my closet that is cute and comfortable.
-having even the vaguest idea of what I'm going to write a novel about starting in a mere 47 days.

Have a great day, kids. What's on your happiness list?

Kendall

*HAHAHA AS IF. We had circle time today in History (don't ask) and one of the questions was "Have you ever been in any freak weather?" or something and someone said, "Once, a very long time ago...it rained."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

2011-09-11T12:56:00.003-05:00

a picture of yummy muffins that has nothing to do with the post!

I really want to blog and I have a lot I could talk about but it all comes out as mumbo jumbo when I write it out. I want to write something coherent and interesting that follows some sort of common thread but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon, knowing me, so I might as well just get it all out. *sigh* Also, post titles and I aren't getting along right now, so that's the explanation for this one. :)

Right now, I should be working on Chem homework or reading the Iliad or writing a paper for English, but instead I am writing on you, dear blog, so I hope you appreciate this! It's okay, I'd much rather be here.

Let's see, life at the moment? It's, uh, busy, which explains why I haven't blogged since Wednesday, an irregularity in the life of Kendall. Sophomore year is harder than freshman year. I mean, right now I have all A's except for English and...wait for it...Drawing. NO COMMENT. But we've only had three weeks of school so far, so I'm sure it will fluctuate greatly before grades come out. Hopefully for the better.

Yesterday morning was my first soccer game of the season. We won, 6-1. It was dreadfully hot and I'd stayed up 'til midnight the night before, so I'm pleased, all things considered. Later in the day I went to my sister's soccer game with earnest intentions of taking pictures. Mostly I got bitten by ants and probably sunburned but I did get a few pictures. Maybe I'll share them later.

So, homecoming is in a few weeks. I didn't go to the dance last year, but I want to this year, in my spirit of, uh, doing stuff. That means having to buy a dress, which is an ordeal in itself. I actually only own one dress right now. Guess I'm going to have to embrace teenage-girl-dom and go shopping. *cringe* I am, however, super excited for Halloween shopping. I know it's only the beginning of September, but I can't wait to find my costume. Favorite holiday, yeah? I can't wait for the day when the church by my house gets pumpkins. Then I can look at them and feel festive every day when I walk home!

I'm so excited for October, you guys. But I'm trying to savor September, too.

Also, today is the tenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks, as I'm sure you are all well aware. I feel like I should say something about that, but I'm not sure exactly what. To be honest, I don't remember a thing from that day. I was five years old and had just started kindergarten. I don't remember what I did that day. But I'll never forget what happened.

On a lighter note, thanks for 151 followers! You guys are cool. I hope you know that.

Kendall

labor day weekend.

2011-09-07T18:21:00.000-05:00

Better late than never, eh?

Here are some pictures from this weekend.

Sunday night, we went to listen to some music outdoors. I brought my camera because I wanted to take pictures, but there were so many people and I felt kind of weird just taking pictures of strangers.

It made me think of this quote I'd found:

"Do you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? Makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people’s lives have we been in? Were we a part of someone’s life when their dreams came true? Or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in as is if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think. You could be a big part of someone else’s life and not even know it."— Lucas Scott

Then, Monday, the most delightful thing happened. I woke up and...IT WAS COOL. We had all the windows open and it was heavenly. I love autumn. Well, the little disconnected bits of it we get.

Alas, it's 96 today. And super dry. Those two are not a terrific combination. Have you heard about those wildfires in Texas? Some of them were pretty nearby, and while my town is okay, it's still pretty scary. There are tons of people who've lost their homes.

DEAR MOTHER NATURE JUST MAKE IT RAIN ALREADY SO I CAN TURN OFF CAPS LOCK OKAY THANKS BYE.

(And that's your daily weather update!)

Kendall

questions and answers

2011-09-05T12:20:00.005-05:00

Here are all my answers to your questions from this post. There's kind of a lot, so it's a bit text-heavy. Just a warning. Enjoy!

What would be your absolute knock-your-socks-off, it's-the-bee's-knees job? Taste tester? Mattress tester? I saw someone once said list-maker, I think that would be awesome.

What are your pet peeves? *rubs hands together evilly* I have a lot. Mostly, though, when people are mean to other people. I just don't like it. Any form of racism, sexism, stereotypes in general, etc. just really bother me. And I hate bugs. I don't know if that's a pet peeve, but I really don't like them.

What would you take to a desert island? Lots of food, lots of water, lots of good books, a camera, bug repellent and sunscreen. I would also say a plane fully equipped with a pilot and enough fuel to get me back home, but I think that may be pushing it a bit.

What mythical creature do you wish was real? {including Harry Potter and sci fi, and also unicorns} Unicorns, definitely.

How did you think of the name of your blog? Oh, I don't even remember now! I've always like stars and that sort of thing but I don't really know, sorry.

What was your first camera? Fujifilm Finepix J20. I got it for my birthday in 2009. (And I don't know where it is right now, oh dear. All I found was the box.)

What's your favorite color? Purple, blue, green, or yellow. I can't pick one.

What's your favorite animal? I have a bunch! Cats, koalas, pandas, raccoons, birds...etc.

What's your favorite movie? That Darn Cat, The Sound of Music, Drop Dead Gorgeous, etc. That's all I can think of now but I know there's more!

And what's your favorite book? (These are favorite stand alone books, not series): The Book Thief, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, My Sister's Keeper, lots more.

If you could turn into ANYTHING, what would it be? I am thinking a cat, because all they do is sleep and be fluffy and that sounds fun.

If you could travel into any book, which one would you choose? ...Harry Potter. I reeeeallly want to go to Hogsmeade.

What do you think your future occupation will be? I really don't know! I hope it is something creative that has to do with writing. In a dream world it would probably be an author but I know how hard that is. Maybe something like working a magazine.

Do you ever wish you could be someone else?   To be honest, yes. Who doesn't? But I'm learning not only to be okay with my life, but to make it awesome in my own way, to make it a life other people would want, if that makes sense.

Have you ever wanted to change your family (add or subtract siblings?)  I used to wish I was an only child, or had an older sibling, but I'm okay with what I have now. I mean, I can't change it so there's no point in wishing for something else.

If you could have one talent to be extra super good at, what would it be?? I'd love to be extra super good at writing. Speaking would be a close second.

What would you wedding dress look like? Would you even get married? How many kids do you want and what genders? 1. No idea! Like a normal wedding dress? 2. No idea! I am only 15! 3. No idea! It's not something I can really control, although I confess I'd rather have a girl, because their names are prettier and decorating is more fun. Ha.

Would you rather be a ninja or a Scuba diver?  Ninja.

Tea or coffee? Tea.

Coke or Pepsi? Neither! I don't like carbonated or bubbly drinks.

If you were to live in the fantasy world of a book; which one would it be? See above. :)

If you knew you only had one minute to live, what would you do?  Sing and dance and hug the world goodbye.

What is your favorite kind of pie?  Probably apple, although pumpkin is pretty good, too.

What is your current favorite genre of books? Historical fiction or just plain realistic fiction. Those have always been my favorite, with a little fantasy thrown in the mix.

If you could get into the Olympics for one thing, what would it be? If this is something I already do, then soccer. If it's anything, then how about snowboarding? That would be pretty cool...

If you could have one thing out of the world of Harry Potter, what would it be? Oh, gosh! A wand? An owl? Chocolate Frogs? I have no idea -- I couldn't choose just one!

What three things would you bring on a desert island?  See above. :)

Where would you most like to have a photo shoot?  I'd love to have a photo shoot in a forest. I love trees.

What year of schooling life would you most like to skip? I don't know! I don't really want to skip any of it -- I don't want to miss out or get behind on anything.

Chocolate or vanilla? Depends. Chocolate, most of the time, but I do like vanilla ice cream sometimes.

Pie or cake? Hmm...this is a tough one. But right now, I'm going to have to go with pie, because it's an autumnal thing I've been craving.

Dogs or cats? Cats!

Where will your spirit go when you die? I don't think any of us really know. We can only guess and hope and believe what we want.

Favorite kind of weather? I love thunderstorms and cool/mild weather -- anything from 50 - 80 degrees would be perfect.

What subject would you want to study for the rest of your life? Writing or art, probably.

Where would you NOT want to move, not for anything?  I don't want to live in a small town in the middle of nowhere or in the suburbs where everything looks the same. And I definitely don't want to live anywhere with a climate like Texas'. :P

What was your happiest moment that you can remember? I can't think of just one, but I can tell you the last time I felt really happy. I woke up this morning and it was a heavenly 70 degrees. All the windows were open and I could take a deep breathe and just smell the fresh air. I sat outside for a while and listened to the breezes shake the trees. It was beautiful.

Why did you start a blog? I started my first blog in December of 2008 just to be able to share pictures and stories with the internet. I started this blog basically for the same purpose and because I was tired of the old one and wanted to start new.

Why Slytherclaw?  Well, the short answer is because Ravenclaw and Slytherin are the two Houses I get the most on quizzes. Ravenclaw because I am philosophical, like to learn, and think a lot. Slytherin because I am emotional, introverted, and want to be successful. The most honest answer, however, is that actually I identify with different aspects of every House and I have no idea which one I would be in and I am waiting for Pottermore to find out...

What's your favorite band/type of music? My favorite types of music are alternative, rock, pop, and a little bit of folk. As for bands, ehhh...there's a lot and I'm feeling lazy, so just look here under the Favorite Music. :)

My question to you: Have I become that vastly uninteresting? Looking at my last four posts, comment numbers have gone from -- and this does amuse me -- 16 to 8 to 4 to 2. I'm not not trying to complain; I'm just pointing that out.

Anyway, thanks for sending me questions! I had fun answering them and I hope you learned something here. Have a great Labor Day!

Kendall

my kind of saturday

2011-09-03T15:41:00.013-05:00

There's nothing quite like a lazy Saturday. The week days are crazy but this is the one day I can unwind and do what I want, which usually is not waking up at six-fifteen and learning stuff all day.

This morning I took time to re-do the little inspiration board over my desk. I cut out some pictures and pinned them onto my wall to create a collage of pretty things. Photos torn from magazines, postcards, and even a fake mustache. I think overall it describes me pretty well: Cats? Check. Dessert? Check. Harry Potter? Double check.

I was feeling a little creative so I drew this. I like bunting. And coloring. So it all works out, you see.

After that, I found this lovely jar in a cabinet and got distracted.

I made a quesadilla for lunch, which along with canned soup and a sandwich is about the extent of my lunch-making-resume. It wasn't as crunchy as I like them, but I couldn't wait that long.

I swept the deck (maybe autumn is coming sooner than I thought, for every time I looked down, more leaves had fallen) and stopped frequently to take pictures. Like this.

shirt: From GREECE...I think. I'm 99% sure it's from when my grandparents went to Greece around the time of the 2004 Olympics...so it's also from when I was about 8. I am supremely surprised I can still fit into it. // tank top: who knows? // shorts: Old Navy // shoes: TOMS

That's pretty much been my day. I went to the library yesterday and got (only) (only?) three books. That was called Thinking Ahead, since past experiences taught me they like to close the library the whole weekend on holiday weekends. Anyway, I'm almost finished with one but I need to read a bunch for school, too. Thank goodness I have two more days! I love three day weekends.

I'm off to dinner now. Bye!

Kendall

soul of metamorphosis

2011-09-01T18:11:00.000-05:00

"Autumn is the very soul of metamorphosis, a time when the world is poised at the door of winter -- which is the door of death -- but has not yet fallen. It is a world of contradictions: a time of harvest and plenty but also of cold and hardship. Here we dwell in the midst of life, but we know most keenly that all things must pass away and shrivel. Autumn turns the world from one thing into another." (from The Girl who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of her Own Making)

Happy September!

I'm excited, because to me, September means the start of autumn, of chilly weather and pumpkins and all other amazingly beautiful things. Yeah, it was another hot one today (surprise, surprise) but just seeing 'September' on the calender means I'm that much closer to what I've been waiting for. I get a little giddy every time I see leaves spiral to the ground.

I am so ready for this.

But then again.

September also means lots of changes and new beginnings (I realize that is redundant). I'm bracing myself for that.

For instance: tonight is my first soccer practice of the season. I need to dig out my cleats and shin guards from the vortex that is our shelves. I need to get ready to run a lot, which, thankfully, is something I've already been doing. I need to get back into the routine of things .

I'm also starting confirmation classes in a few weeks, preparing for the real thing in November. I'm a little apprehensive about it, but I'm sure it will be fine. One step at a time...

There are new academic endeavors -- dealing with lots more homework than ever before. Having to write an opinion piece and to present it to the class, every six weeks, the thought of which scares me to death. And maybe joining some a club or two, doing some volunteering, etc. Stuff like that.

I guess this all ties into my last post. Branching out is good. Trying new things is good. Autumn is the perfect time for changes, as it is the soul of metamorphosis. I'm just going to do to my best to embrace it -- everything.

Right now, though, I can think of about ten other things I should be doing besides blogging, including but not limited: to reading the Iliad, doing Pre-Cal homework, editing a picture for a class, reading an ancient Greek play about Dionysus (god of wine and partying and CHAOS WOO!) and starting on the 82342910 other projects I have. So, have a lovely day!

Kendall

P.S. Thanks for all your comments on my last post. They were really encouraging and mean a lot to me. Also, the answers post will be up soon! There's still some time if you want to ask any more questions, though. :)

courage

2011-08-29T22:06:00.001-05:00

I don't normally post things this personal, but I just needed to get this out. Out of my head, and into the universe, where any unsuspecting soul might stumble upon it. It's the sort of thing I'd only do at 10:00 on a Monday night. But I'm going to post it anyway. Bear with me.

I've gotten to a point where I know what I need and I can't just stay passive.

I need confidence and courage to guide me in my life right now.

I need to reach out, to let go, to do so without being so afraid of the consequences.

Being brave is something I struggle with, but it's something I think is oh-so-important.

Because,

life is good, but I can't help feeling like something's missing.

I need to find my purpose.

And that's not going to happen just sitting here.

I'm apathetic, but I don't want to be.

I want to be lively and joyful and inspired.

I need to find the missing piece, and in order to do that I need courage. Lots of it.

Courage to take risks. To speak up, to step forward, to try new things.

I know this is a changing time in my life, and I feel a bit overwhelmed.

But it's a journey. And those go one step at a time.

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing."

(linking up with Draftless)

I have decided...

2011-08-28T11:13:00.001-05:00

...after entirely too many days of this...

...that I am moving to Siberia.

Or Iceland.

Heck, maybe just England.

But I am definitely not staying in Texas. No, no, no.

To help me survive this heat (and the homework that I should be doing doing), I ask a favor.

It's quite simple really -- just leave some questions for me in the comments.

I know, I know: I am not the first person to do this. I've seen on at least five other blogs, but I don't care. It sounds interesting. You may ask me anything (try to be creative!) but do know I'm not going to reply to anything I consider to be inappropriate. I will answer them in a post in a week or so.

Have fun!

Kendall

Note: The last two pictures do not belong to me; click them for the sources. :)

fridays, fall, and football.

2011-08-26T18:04:00.003-05:00

Well, it's finally Friday. This week crept by so slowly. I can't believe we've only been in school for five days; it seems like ages. And yet, it's still August! This is like the single longest month of the entire year, I swear. IT IS SO LONG.

Fridays make me jump for joy! Technically, I took this yesterday, but that doesn't discredit the fact that I am extremely happy it is the weekend.

Fall. I'm 100% ready for autumn now. I wish it was October, for several reasons, including, but not limited to:

-Halloween. It has pretty much always been my favorite holiday. I love going to pick out a pumpkin, shopping in costume & craft stores, stuffing myself with candy. I even did an entire research paper on Halloween in eighth grade, haha.

-Pottermore. I was out of town during the registration thing -- seriously, they picked the one week I didn't have regular access to a computer. I hate hearing everyone talking about something and knowing I can't take part in it yet. Especially when there are people with access who aren't even big Harry Potter fans and I'm just sitting here humming "I Believe in Nargles". ...Anyway.

-I may do something exciting in October, if plans go accordingly, i.e. how I want them to. Fingers crossed. It's a secret though, because a) it's still tentative, b) I'm evil and c) you don't even care. :)

-Namely, though, I want the cooler weather. I'm so so so tired of this 100 degree weather, and I'm sure everyone else is tired of hearing me (and the rest of the state) complaining about it. But seriously. Is it too much to ask to want to walk four blocks home without sweating? *sigh* Also, rain. I'm just waiting for it to start pouring and not stop for a week. It has to happen some time...right?

Tonight is our school's first football game of the season. Living in Texas, football is kind of a big deal. I mean, I don't even really know what's going on half the time, but it's the tradition and stuff that makes it fun. Winning makes it more fun, though. I don't think we'll win tonight. But. We will see.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

My sister's friends invited her to go to their lake house for Labor Day weekend. Why the heck don't my friends have lake houses?!?

Life is so unfair sometimes.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Also, I'm probably not going to be posting as much as I did in the summer now that school's started up again. I'll still be here as long as I'm alive though. So, uh, yeah.

Happy Weekend!

Kendall

sophomoric musings

2011-08-23T16:51:00.000-05:00

~~please ignore my pathetic attempts to be clever with the title~~

So, school started yesterday. The sort of thing that heralds waking up before the sun and staggering up the stairs under the weight of a backpack filled with textbooks. It was kind of scary how much it seemed like just a continuation of last year. Sure, there are different classes and lots of new faces, but I had this overwhelming feeling of deja vu.

Anyway, the first day the seniors had covered the freshman lockers with cutouts of dead fish, which was pretty hilarious. I am glad I'm not a fish anymore. I think sophomore year is a pretty comfortable place to be, actually -- you're not the newbies or at the bottom anymore, but you don't have to worry about college apps or APs or anything yet. That's not to say I think it's going to be easy or anything...Far from it.

We're on a block schedule, so Monday was an A day (odd classes).

Advisory: It's the same group as last year, and the first thing our teacher told was, "Field Day is the day before Thanksgiving break and we need to do better than last year. That's all." Then we were handed a bunch of papers and sat there until some genius suggested we all introduce ourselves. So we went around and said things we did over the summer: "I went to Colorado." "I went to band camp." "I was an accessory to tax fraud." (Someone actually said that. I don't think he was joking.)

1. World History: I have this with a few of my friends, which is good. The teacher said she doesn't believe in pop quizzes, which is a plus, but we got a packet about Marxist theorists or something we're supposed to read and annotate. Which I already did in my newfound pursuits of being a Good Student.

3. Spanish II: The teacher only speaks in Spanish. We are only supposed to speak in Spanish. And I have no friends in this class. *big dramatic sigh* We have a vocab sheet which I'm not entirely sure what to do with, considering the instructions were spoken in a foreign language, and a mini-project due Friday. Yay.

5. Great Ideas: This is a 'required elective' which is an oxymoron if you ask me, but no one did. There are cool people in this class, which is good. It's about, like, humanities and philosophy and I'm not really sure. We're going to write a research paper at the end of it, which I despise doing, but we also get field trips.

Lunch: We have this silly* schedule this year where you go to half of fifth period and then lunch and the return for the rest of it. Basically it means I'm going to be hungry for a while! Lunch is shortened on days with advisory, but actually getting to eat and socialize is nice. I was so relieved when lunch finally came.

7. Drawing III: There is no Drawing II, so III it is! It's pretty much a case of 'everyone is so much better than I am' but I think it'll be alright. It's the same teacher and classroom as last year's Art I, though the latter looks vastly different. Also I'm with my friends which is nice.

Today was a B day (even classes).

2. Chemistry: I like this word. Chemistry. I know a bunch of people in this class, but of course, due to assigned seating, I'm not sitting near any of them. Also the teacher said "This course is extremely math-based", causing me to groan inwardly. I'm already taking a math course, thanks.

4. English: We read and analyzed a poem, which was actually pretty interesting. Then we were given the syllabus -- we're going to be reading lots of stuff, like the Iliad -- and several other papers. In the exact words of my teacher: "I like to give multiple assignments on one day. It amuses me." Apparently we're going to be doing a lot of writing, too. I definitely think it will be challenging but interesting as well.

6. Great Ideas (again -- it's every day but only for one semester): Today we read an excerpt from something of Plato's and it made me want to fall asleep. The end.

8. Pre-Cal: I was so relieved when I saw I had this in the afternoon. I mean, math's not going to be any easier at a certain time of day, but at least this way I have lunch to ~~do my homework~~ study some more. :) I have this with my math teacher from last year, which is nice. This class is a lot bigger than last year's, though.

Now, excuse me while I go attend to the mountain of homework my teachers have already supplied me with! (No, seriously. Today's day in the agenda is already full.)

Is it Friday yet....?

-Kendall

*That is what I say when I want to refrain from saying 'stupid.'

a fond farewell to summer

2011-08-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Summer,

Today marks the end of your visit, my friend. Your stay was lovely, one of the best, but tomorrow I must return to school. As always, I am saddened to see you leave, but I am left with wonderful memories of our time. Shall I recount some of our adventures?

There were many trips to places like Hawaii (island of chickens, rain, and mud), Washington D.C. (city of escalators, museums, and good food) and to California (land of pools, parks, and shopping). I also went to nearer places, like the ranch. I marked three new states off my list and took a total of 11 airplane flights. I got to see my family on my vacations, and even though they drive me crazy sometimes, it's all fun. Mostly.

There were days of camp -- nature camp (where I was a counselor-in-training) and writing camp (where I was a student/camper). Though I had to wake up earlier, I got to learn, help, and laugh...a lot.

There were quieter, unstructured days that were fun, too. Days spent reading, going to the pool, taking pictures. Lazy days, dog days. The best. Because when else can you stay up until midnight and sleep until ten on a Tuesday?

This summer, I turned fifteen, saw some of my favorite musical artists perform, and watched the final Harry Potter movie (*sob*). All in the same week, coincidentally.

It was a very good summer, in retrospect. Just the right amounts of Excitement and Laziness with a lot of Smiles mixed in. It feels slightly melancholy sitting here, typing away when I know this time tomorrow I'll be meandering the cold hallways of high school once again. At least I know the school this time...but good bye, free time, sleeping in, lazy days. *deep breath*

Good bye, summer...Hello, school. If you also feel bad about going back to school (and are a Harry Potter fan)...watch this. :)

Until next year,

Kendall

P.S. I'm fiddling with the design a bit, just so you know. Curious -- does anyone know how to make the post title & date central? Like in the middle? :)

adorableness

2011-08-19T22:15:00.001-05:00

My neighbors (not the ones with the chickens) recently got a new kitten. His name is Pickles, which I keep forgetting, but I always remember his nickname: Vicious. Anyway, the bottom line is he's a kitten and thus irrationally adorable. Observe.

All together now: awwww.

I want a kitten. One of my cats has this really weird habit of sitting right under the sink when I'm trying to brush my teeth and likes to throw up around the house, and the other is gone all day and comes in only for food and to shed fur all over the couch. But I'll take what I can get, I suppose. They're not too bad in the scheme of things... ;)

(More coherent/quality posts coming soon! ...I promise.)

Kendall

thoughts of the day

2011-08-18T10:42:00.004-05:00

These past few days have been fairly productive. I've been to school to pick up my textbooks and get my locker, I've been to the doctor for a check-up, I've written my thank-you notes, I've cleaned the bathroom, I've made pancakes, I've done laundry, and I've practiced my guitar (almost) every day. I've marked a lot off my to-do list, but I've still had time to feel bored and mope about the house.

So, I've been reading a lot lately (what else is new?) and journaling, too. It's easy for me to write about my day and my feelings and anything that catches my fancy, but once I start to think about actually writing something like a story, I get all muddled. I haven't found any ideas I'm really passionate about which makes it hard. I wanted to write a lot this summer, but aside from small things that hasn't really happened. The next big thing is NaNo in November, which seems like far off right now, but it's only a few months. I want to find something I'm really interested in because I want to try to write the whole 50,000 words this time, as opposed to my goal of half that last time. I'll think of something...I always do.

In search of a cool drink to go with all those books, I made lemonade yesterday. I spent more time agonizing over finding the right recipe than actually making it, but that's beside the point. It made me feel like I actually did something, you know? And the lemonade. The lemonade was good.

My parents remind me constantly (or what seems like constantly) about getting exercise. Soccer is going to start up again pretty soon and they're asking me what I'm doing to stay in shape during the summer, when there are no regular practices. "I hear so and so is running three miles a day." "Good for them," is my response, because, really, that's great for them. But I don't really care. My dad is an avid bike rider and my mom teaches Jazzercise, so they're both pretty athletic. But me? I'd rather read than run. Some people like to exercise their bodies; I prefer to exercise my mind. What can I say?

Anyway, the moral of the story is, my dad dragged me to the track last night to go jogging. It was after dark, so it had cooled off...to 97 degrees, that is. *le sigh* We jogged at first and then alternated between sprints and walking as he talked about playing football and the sort of drills they did during practice. It did not make me want to petition the school board to let girls play football any time soon, that's for sure.

Afterwards, my legs were killing me, but I got to try out driving in the parking lot. I was pretty calm, though I still couldn't help gripping the wheel and thinking at one point, "This is how so many people die." But it wasn't scary or anything; I just adjusted the mirrors and shifted from Reverse to Drive and went in tiny circles. That sort of thing. And I didn't kill anyone, which was very noble of me.

Ha.

After I got home, I showered then had one of these. Because I'd deserved it. Not quite at the real ice cream level, but up there.

So that's life right now. It's pretty lazy overall, but not in a bad way. I'm enjoying the laziness while I can, because I know very shortly my days will be filled to the brim.

Have a great day! (What is it today, Thursday? Already?!)

-Kendall

fruits + veggies

2011-08-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

From raspberries to tomatoes, summer food really is the best. Marked by plump juicy reds and healthy greens, it's delicious and nutritious. I mean, desserts will always be first in my heart (and stomach), but there's something to be said for fresh fruits and veggies. I just really like food. Got any favorite fruits or veggies?

Also, in a fit of boredom yesterday, I started a Project 52 on Flickr! I'll be uploading one photo a week for a whole year on there, so follow along, why dontcha? Go here to see the set. :) Are doing a 52 or a 365 or anything of that kind?

Have a happy Tuesday!

Kendall

return to normal.

2011-08-14T19:57:00.000-05:00

listening to: Blow Away by A Fine Frenzy.
just finished reading: Bird by Bird. It's funny because I was reading this on my way home and one of the flight attendants saw and said, "Oh, that's a great book. Anne Lamott lives right next door to me!" So, yeah, small world.

linking up to Acacia's instagram photo challenge

I'm home now, for good. No more airplanes or suitcases or wondering what time it is because you've been in three different time zones in the past two weeks. No more temporary. Home.

It's time to ease back into the patterns of everyday. I have one week before school starts and so much to do. There are things I want to do: go to the movies and practice driving and, you know, blog. And there are things I have to do: clean up my room, write thank you notes, go to the doctor. All the un-fun things that come with being home again. I'm glad to be back, but I didn't really miss those chores. Come to think of it, I didn't miss this heat, either. At all. I am, however, grateful to see my cats, my computer, and to have more wardrobe choices. I was getting just a little tired of those same few shirts.

Speaking of getting home: I arrived to find a certain package, all the way from England, at my door! It brought me these lovelies, which made me smile. Oh, and I've named the little red guy Zip. :)

I'm kind of looking forward to fall, to going back to school and having structured days. Kind of. I'll be glad to see some of my friends again, too, the ones I haven't seen since June. I got my schedule a few weeks ago, and some of my classes sound exciting...and others just sound hard. I don't want to wake up early and I don't want to do homework, but I do want to learn. Sigh. One thing I'm definitely looking forward to, though: cooler weather. Any respite from this heat we've been having all summer long would be welcome. The sad thing is, it'll take a few months for it to actually cool off. Someday (someday!) I will live in a place with four seasons. Where the leaves actually turn colors other than brown and where you can actually wear scarves and boots in October without sweating. Where it actually rains. I kind of don't know why anyone would want to move to Texas. No offense, Texas. Your weather is just pretty awful, that's all. I want a real fall.

That said, I still have plenty of summer left in me, so I'm definitely going to enjoy it!

This afternoon my neighbor came over and we played Just Dance for a while, which is pretty intense, let me tell you. I was tired after that so I broke out the watercolors and did some painting. That was nice and relaxing.

I have lots of photos to share later, but right now I just wanted to get everything out in words first.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

-Kendall

P.S. A teeny note about Instagram: it's on my mom's iPhone so occasionally I'll use it but it's her account with her full name on it, so I can't like, give it out or be friends with you or anything. Hope that makes sense!

august favorites.

2011-08-12T11:00:00.001-05:00

Just some things I love about this last month of summer.

(Linking up to Friday Favorite Things. Click to join in. :)

raspberries.

They are so summery...not to mention delicious. May even be worthy of their own post...

the bluest skies.

unedited, in all its glory.

What would you call that color, the color of the sky? Hmm...

new books.

Forever a favorite. I finished Looking for Alaska a few days ago, and now I'm reading I Am the Messenger. It's by the author of the Book Thief and so far it's interesting. :)

swimming.

Splash, splash, splash. The pictures say everything.

relaxation.

One of my favorite things here in CA? Lounging on the patio in the late morning. The sun hasn't yet reached the top of the sky, so the temperature is still mild. There's a nice breeze that wafts through the air and it's so relaxing. I like to bring a book out and read, but sometimes I get lost in the sky and just lay there. Bliss.

animal friends.

...like this deer, crossing the road...

...and this dog. Adorable.

driving downtown at golden hour

and just watching as the light hits the trees and makes them glow, watching people ride their bikes with a towel slung over their shoulder, watching dogs pull on their leashes and bound ahead, watching the whole world out my window. The sun lit up the grass into that undeniably green color I love and it illuminated everything. And I didn't have my camera, so for once I was able to just look instead of trying to capture the ever-eluding light in images. I didn't have to worry; I could just watch. It just felt so summery to me.

pancakes.

We went to IHOP yesterday for brunch. It's a once-in-a-while, vacation thing, but I love it.

- - -

I'm going home tomorrow, but for now I'm just going to enjoy it -- all these things, and more.

Have a happy Friday!

-Kendall

and now, the west coast.

2011-08-10T11:59:00.000-05:00

So, it took me like twenty minutes to find the photos I uploaded on this computer. This is why I do not have a Mac.

Anyway.

I've been in California since Monday, in probably one of the only parts that is actually almost as hot and dead-looking as Texas. I feel right at home...

Yesterday we went shopping. I was looking for some shorts, but all they had were jeans. That seems really strange to me because I don't think about wearing jeans until about, oh, October. Anyway, I got a shirt and a skirt and afterwards I got some books, too. That's two I'll soon check off my growing list of books to read.

I am having too much fun with this lens. I didn't bring it to D.C. because I wanted a zoom and I couldn't pack both, but now I am reunited with my 50mm and I couldn't be happier.

TV remote. I like this picture, but it also got me thinking. Every time I turn on the news, there's something terrible happening. From things like the London riots to local kidnappings or natural disasters. It's all so depressing that frankly, I don't want to pick up a newspaper anymore. I'm torn between these feelings of "bad things are happening, I should feel sad/guilty/bad and spread awareness or do something to help" and "bad things happen every day, but I'm not going to dwell on them; I'm going to focus on the happy things instead." Bottom line is, I think, there's a middle ground. Do try to help if you can and keep them in your thoughts and stay informed, but don't feel guilty about being happy and living your life. I've seen some posts that say things like, "reblog this if you have a heart" with pictures of burning buildings in London, and I hate that. Like, if you don't acknowledge disasters on your blog, you're a terrible human. Because bad things happen every day, but my blog is a platform for sharing the happy things in my life, the funny things, the interesting things. Just because I don't talk about these events doesn't mean I don't think they're awful, or that I'm not thinking/praying/worrying about them.

I just had to get that out. Onward to sunnier things!

We went swimming, too. It's pretty hot out, but there's nothing like a dip in the pool to cool off. Especially a pool with a nice view and a glass of iced lemonade on the side. Ahh...just right.

Well, this is life on the West Coast. It's not nearly as busy as the East Coast, but a slow-moving pace is just what I need right now. Soaking up these last days of summer. On that note, I think I'm going to go read...

Have a great day!

-Kendall

the final installment (d.c. part iii).

2011-08-08T13:35:00.001-05:00

...Of my epic adventures in Washington D.C. That sounds like it's from some fantasy trilogy...Anyway.

day six.

Ate breakfast at Starbucks in Alexandria, where everything is ancient. Then we wandered over to the piers to wait for our boat to Mount Vernon.

The ride was about an hour and a half long, and I may or may not have fallen asleep both ways... Anyway! Once we got there, we got to see the remains of George Washington.

And some cows.

We got a tour of the house, which was really interesting, though no pictures were allowed inside, surprise surprise. They also had this museum about George Washington that was kinda cool. We watched this movie that had all these special effects like 'snow' that floated down from the ceiling during the part about crossing the Delaware. I still don't know what it was. XD

We took the boat back and then had ice cream. Right before dinner. I love vacation. Then we took the metro back to the hotel... Funny story about that. We were waiting for it to come, and when it pulled up, my dad jumped on and was ushering everyone on. My grandpa, two cousins and I made it but everyone else was left behind. No sooner had we sat down then we realized...we were on the wrong one. Everything worked out fine, but it was kind of hilarious and after that I stopped trusting my dad when he told us where to go. :P

day seven.

Friday, the last full day, we went to Georgetown, my dad's alma mater. It looks like a castle.

After walking around there for a bit, we went to the American History Museum. By this point I'd stopped counting how many museums we'd been to...it was a lot. But I saw Dorothy's Ruby Red Slippers! :D

And then we went to the Lincoln Memorial, where there were a lot of people.

And the Washington Memorial. To the the very tippity top.

the view from the top. the White House!

Jump, I told her. Jump again! One more time! I am such a good cousin.

I think this marks the conclusion of my trip. I had a great time and it went by so quickly. I'll probably share some leftover pictures later, because there are a lot, but right now it's time to go.

Oh yeah -- by the time you read this, I will be in California. Happy Monday! Talk to you soon.

-Kendall

capitol ceilings and foreign food (d.c. part ii).

2011-08-07T16:00:00.002-05:00

Here's the second installment of my vacation to Washington D.C.

day three.

Monday, we went on a tour of the Capitol. We got to see the old Supreme Court Chamber, the Senate (which was really boring because they were on recess) and lots of chandeliers, paintings, and statues everywhere. It was like the Texas Capitol...but bigger. Great comparison, right?

The building -- especially the ceiling -- was so beautifully intricate, so cramped with minute details that I couldn't help but admire it. It's kind of amazing.

my protege, i mean, sister.

After lunch, we visited the National Archives and saw the Declaration of Independence and other really old things like that. They were really strict about no photography...so naturally my cousin had to take a picture. The security guard wasn't very happy.

Then, that evening, I went with my parents & sisters to see one of my dad's old friends. They live out in Virginia and have an adorable almost-2-year-old.

We took the metro back and didn't get to the hotel until 11:30.

day four.

We slept in and then went to the Natural History Museum, where I learned that humans are 60% similar to banana trees. I didn't bring my camera on that excursion because I was tired, but that night we went to an Ethiopian restaurant so I had to document that.

They had a plate like that for every four people to share. There was this really spongey bread that you used to pick up the other food -- potatoes and chicken and carrots and other things with various sauces. I tried some of it, I really did, but I just didn't like it. It's too different, or something. Not to my taste. But hey, I also hate soda, onions and seafood, so maybe I'm just weird.

day five.

Woke up really early to wait outside the White House for about an hour in drizzling weather. Fun times! We got to walk through some rooms and that was pretty much it. No pictures, because the security there is really strict. Afterwards, we were all hungry, so we ate breakfast (it was only nine!) at this French restaurant. They had chocolate to spread on the bread (like Nutella, which my mom doesn't buy anymore, sadly) and honey to drizzle over French toast and I decided I like French food and I want to go there. Yep.

We had Chipotle for lunch, where there was a little incident of burrito theft that we can all laugh about now (well, almost all of us) and then went to the Air and Space Museum. I...saw lots of airplanes? Later in the afternoon I went swimming at the hotel and it rained.

The third and final installment, including some of my most favorite places & pictures...coming soon.

-Kendall

from planes to trains (d.c. part i)

2011-08-06T21:27:00.001-05:00

I'm home from Washington, D.C.! It was marvelous, the weather was nice despite everything, I got to see my family, etc. etc. Just a warning, though: I took 244 pictures. So, this may take a while.

day one.

We landed in Baltimore and then took the Amtrack into the city. From there we took the Metro and did some walking, two things we got quite accustomed to this week. We got settled in our hotel -- I shared a room with my aunt & cousin, for the sake of space.

My whole family went out for dinner at an Italian place. Traveling with 16 people is definitely an adventure. It's always interesting to watch waiters raise their eyebrows after they hear the number of seats needed. I think it was definitely good for their businesses, though. ;)

Walking around town at night.

day two.

Sunday morning, we went to the Eastern Market, this outdoor...well, market. I almost bought some sunglasses, because it was super sunny and like the smart person I am, I left mine at home. But again, like the smart person I am, I also left my money at home...so that didn't happen.

They had beautiful strawberries.

From there, we took the Metro to the National Mall. Now, in all the pictures I've ever seen of it, it looks all green and happy with people picnicking in the grass and stuff. In reality, it looked like Texas. Which is to say, very sad. But the Washington Monument was still an impressive figure.

We took some time for walking around and found these ducks. Quack!

Then the majority of the afternoon was spent in the Holocaust Museum. It was very hallowing; I've read many books about this subject, but this put everything in a new light, per se. Even my cousin, who's been to several Holocaust museums, said she enjoyed it.

That night we went to a deeelicious Indian restaurant (thank you Clarissa for finally teaching me how to spell that word! Hah) but I forgot my camera. It was just as well, because by the end of the week I was so tired of lugging that thing around. I even had a bruise from where it would hit me repeatedly as I walked. #dedication

metro motion blur

More to come!

It's so nice to be back blogging. I can't remember the last time I didn't blog for a week. That's sad. Anyway, thank you so much to my guest posters! You should check out their posts if you haven't already. :) Have an awesome day!

-Kendall

blackberrying {a guest post by Libby}

2011-08-05T10:44:00.001-05:00

To me, blackberrying is the the end of many things, and the beginning of even more. The first opportunity to harvest these juicy fruits usually arises the last week of the summer holiday, but we've been waiting for them to ripen since late July. We spot these berries, rotund and deep purple, and we know. We know that our fridge will soon be filled with containers of easy jam--the kind that doesn't required setting and jelling, but is more like a preserve. We know that in a few weeks, school will have started and the halcyon days will have passed. And we know, that on cold November mornings, a bit of blackberry jam on toast will be an instant reminder of summer.

Even though I often come home with bramble-induced cuts on my arms, as I am invariably inappropriately dressed, blackberrying is one of my favourite things. It is just me, my parents, and our dog. Sallydog loves blackberries. She loves sticking her nose deeper and lower into the bushes than we dare go, and sourcing as many berries as possible. Whilst that crazy dog is occupying herself, we gathered handfuls of blackberries. Of course, only the ripest will do. They must be so ripe they burst slightly when you pull them off the bush, leaving some purple stains on the tips of your fingers. The purple en grains itself on my hands, a tattoo and reminder of the nearing of autumn.

{those brownish clusters? they're unripe berries}

Right now, I'm waiting for those stains, waiting for ripeness and Sundays spent making blackberry-based treats in the kitchen and a lasting reminder of lazy summer days. Our blackberrying expeditions are the best memories of summer days, moments where I am just in a field, picking berries and not doing anything else. We are lucky enough to live in a small village, surrounding by three different farms where we can walk the dog and pick blackberries to our heart's content. It's so much more open than visiting a fruit farm where you can pick your own, because this is real--and I'm a big believer in real. These are the bushes that line the farms that produce the wheat. This is finding my home. This is living

Is there anything in particular that feels like those last few precious days of summer to you?
xx
Libby

I'm Libby, England, thirteen.I weave many words, take lots of pictures, and dance in lovely dresses. I blog about the beauty in the everyday, and chart my days as I try and be a more positive girl. Oh, and I like blackberries.